The Yankees win, theeeeeeeeeeeeee Yankees win…twice in one day to complete the rare sweep of Pennsylvania. I guess we can start printing those World Series tickets as the Yankees beat the Phils 7-5 and the Pirates 6-0 in split-squad action. OK, everyone can take their fingers off the panic button now as the Yanks improved their spring record to 3-4.

• It didn’t take long for the injury bug to spread, as Chan Ho Park missed his first live batting practice throwing session today…due to a sore butt. You can’t make that stuff up (I pray this Yankees team doesn’t wind up like last year’s New York Football Giants. My heart can’t take that kind of abuse in consecutive seasons). There is some shades of Carl Pavano with Chan Ho, but at least Park didn’t cost $39.95 million. Plus, Park has been rescheduled to throw tomorrow. However, if he gets in a car accident and doesn’t tell the team I will come looking for his head on a stick.
• NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Apparently everyone’s favorite former goat was treated by Dr. Galea on his road to redemption. Say it ain’t so A-Rod.
• Mariano Rivera feeling “delicious” after throwing on Monday. That’s good, I think.
• And the front runner of the Joba/Phil battle for the fifth spot in the rotation is…Alfredo Aceves?!?!?! Wow, I bet no one saw that coming. Although it’s still early and there’s a lot of time to blow that spot, it’s still mind-boggling.
• Francisco Cervelli is set to resume baseball actions on Tuesday, just three days after suffering his second concussion this offseason. I’m glad, Frankie is fun to watch and root for. He’s a good guy and has the potential to be a stud in the majors.
• With Brandon Webb injured, Ian Kennedy will most likely get the third/fourth spot in the D’Bags rotation. I wish him well, but I’m not sure how I feel about him getting a 2009 WS ring after pitching one September game last year.
• Yanks spring training press box not so luxurious for the visiting team’s reporters. Who cares? It’s not like you have to watch these games anyway.
• Gossage is full of Goose shit if he thinks Mo isn’t the greatest of all time.

It seems it’s not just sports fans that hate Joe Buck, now even HIS OWN WIFE can’t stand him. Everybody’s least favorite sportscaster and his wife of 15 years are “taking a break,” according to Buck’s mother. Somewhere out there Artie Lange is smiling.

Now I would never wish divorce upon anybody, it’s bad news and can really mess up a person’s head. But if it had to be someone I’m glad it’s the Buckster. My reasoning is three-fold; first, he’s just so smug. That SOB thinks he’s God’s gift to color commentating, but in reality he couldn’t call a game to save his life. Second, he botches games all the time and shows no emotion in doing so. Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t it Buck’s late father who instructed folks to “go crazy”? I guess that apple fell FAR from the tree; apparently good broadcasting genes skip a generation (at least in this case). And finally, he lets his bias show when he’s calling a game. In the 2008 WS he was so clearly pulling for the Rays, then last year he was so vehemently rooting against the Yankees (among every other time he does a Yanks game). I have no problem if a guy is calling a game for a local broadcast and lets his bias shine through (see: Michael Kay on YES), but if you’re doing a nationally televised game you’d better call it as you see it. It’s wrong, it’s WROOOOONG!!

I hope that 42-year-old twit gets taken to the cleaners and given the Kirk Van Houten treatment:

Fox Executive: Joe, sports is a family thing – happy families. Maybe single people watch sports, we don’t know. Frankly, we don’t want to know. It’s a market we could do without!

Joe: So that’s it after all this time, “So long, good luck?”

Fox Executive: I don’t recall saying good luck.

Let’s hope Eddie Murphy was right. The best-case scenario is that he is unable to do the FOX Game of the Week anymore. Nothing would make me happier than seeing that smug bastard get the shit-eating grin wiped off his face. Plus we’d all get to watch the Yankees in peace without having to listen to Joey.

Troy Aikman: You’re absolutely right, Andrew. I hate him too.

All kidding aside, I do wish Joe Buck well and hope everything works out for him…I just don’t want to be subjected to his sub-par commentating skills anymore. Joe Buck makes Suzyn Waldman look like a Hall of Fame broadcaster; that takes talent.

Aside from his lack of broadcasting skills, he’s probably a good person. I just don’t want to hear him when I go to watch a game on FOX. That station could do a lot better than Joe Buck.

Just two days after Nick Johnson “felt something” in his back, backup catcher Francisco Cervelli got dinged up at the plate during a 9-1 loss to the Blue Jays on Saturday.

Frankie, celebrating his 24th birthday, took a pitch off his head from Jays reliever Zech Zinicola and had to leave the game. The pitch was hard enough to leave an imprint of the seams on his helmet, but thank God a CT scan was negative. But you can never be too careful with these things, especially since Cervelli suffered a concussion during Winter Ball this offseason.

The Yankees are dropping like flies, and the season hasn’t even started yet. There’s just 29 more days until Opening Day and the Yanks better start getting healthy.

Cervelli must hate Spring Training, as he broke his wrist a couple years back during a collision at home during a game with the Rays. I hope the first time that the Yanks and Jays face off Burnett is pitching and one of them gets the Shane Victorino treatment. What’s right is right.

Things could be worse for Francisco Cervelli, he could be Ronan Tynan.

Get well soon, Frankie! The team needs you.

Well it only took one exhibition game to make Nick Johnson’s injury woes come roaring back. Christ, can this guy ever stay healthy? One has to wonder if his cameo at first base yesterday had anything to do with this most recent injury.

Prior to the Yanks’ 3-2 loss to the Phillies Thursday, Nick The Stick caught his spikes during batting practice and “felt something” in his back. He was scratched from the lineup, but said if this was the regular season he would’ve been out there. Isn’t that special.

Following the game, Sweeney Murti said on Mike’d Up, “It’s not a big deal.”  Mike Francesa replied, “Some guys in sports are always hurt, he’s always hurt.” Nice, very comforting Big Mike. I wish Dog was still around to make some sense of all this.

Hey, look on the bright side…um, uh, well, the thing is (scratches head, twiddles thumbs, looks around, scratches head again) Tiger’s wife is moving back in!!!! That’s something…isn’t it?

But in all seriousness, we Yankee fans should not freak out. If we lose our cool the Sox win. This is just a bump in the road and we shouldn’t throw in the towel on 2010 just yet. The Yankees are still the defending champs (OF THE WORLD!!!) and until they get knocked off we should treat them as such.

Please don't be a recurring theme. Please don't be a recurring theme.

Although the games don’t mean jack squat, we shouldn’t read too much into them, most of these players will never get to step on the grass at Yankee Stadium this season (and possibly ever) and we get to see guys with numbers in the 70s and above….(cue the Michael Kay voice) New York Yankees baseball is back!!!

Ramiro Pena jacked the first homer of the Spring, Nick the Stick made his presence felt (he even got to play first base!), Gaudin, Mitre, Royce Ring and Jason Hirsh (no relation to Judd) looked solid, A-Rod broke up a no-hitter and The Drunken Brawler started a ninth-inning rally as the Yankees beat the Pirates (aka the former Yankees) 6-3 at George M. Steinbrenner Field.

However, the future owner of the Yankees went 0-for-2 and looked a little chunky in the process, Albaledejo looked like a bum and the Yanks did blow a three-run lead. But who cares? It’s the first Spring Training game. It’s just good to have baseball back.

Is there any feeling better than knowing that real baseball is right around the corner? No, there is no better feeling. Well, maybe there’s a couple better feelings but seeing baseball is right up there.

Oh, and by the way, COLIN CURTIS FOR MVP!!!!!!!!! That walk-off blast was a thing of beauty. Holy shit he crushed that pitch.

Due to a gaffe while dividing up World Series shares, everyone on the 2009 Yankees must give back $10,000 each.

The Yankees divvied up $21.2 million between 46 players and coaches (not including 12.25 partial shares), making the full share worth a record $365,052. However, the MLBPA recently issued a letter to everyone who received a full share saying that three people on the team didn’t receive their proper cut. The result is that each person who got a full share must give back $10,000 in order to compensate the other three (two trainers and a player) who were shysted. Now the Yanks’ full-share record is a record no more, as the 2006 Cardinals reclaim the bench mark at $362,173. Hey, you can’t win ‘em all.

Look on the bright side though: can you imagine how pissed Johnny Damon was when he found out? I would’ve loved to have been a fly on the wall as he opened that letter.

Alex Rodriguez just can’t catch a break. It was announced Monday that he would cooperate with federal authorities in an investigation of Canadian doctor Anthony Galea regarding performance-enhancing drugs. I guess The Amazing Blendini will have to wait another year to make an appearance.

The Doc, who was caught with HGH and Actovegin (a drug derived from calf’s blood), has been linked to Tiger Woods, Dara Torres, Jose Reyes and a number of NFL players, among others. When asked if he had ever been treated by the quack, A-Rod said simply:

I can’t really get into that. You’ll know within time all at the same time.

That can’t be good. I pray to God we’re not in for another press conference filled with awkward pauses.

Just plead the fifth! Please, just plead the fifth!!!!!!