ChatGPT roasting Yankees is the last thing New York-Boston rivalry needed

1993 Don Mattingly
1993 Don Mattingly / Steve Crandall/GettyImages

First we had to battle back against the national perception of the massive-budget Red Sox as "plucky underdogs" just because they've opted out of paying Mookie Betts and Xander Bogaerts. Plucky by choice!

Then we had to fight the mainstream media, who assured us that Yankees-Red Sox was the ultimate rivalry, then picked sides by building an ESPN booth filled with Curt Schilling and Nomar Garciaparra. Pretty clear where you stand! Let's get ready for some riveting, unbiased chat as Marco Scutaro rips our souls out yet again!

And oh, right, Alex Cora might be the game's plainest (and proudest) cheater. So they've got that going for them.

Now? It's robots. The next battle royale is robots.

ChatGPT and similar AI technologies have already affected storytelling, from high school essays to law school examinations. But though our AI overlords can eventually fracture, sputter, and start telling you they love you after several hours of conversation, it seems that, at their base level, they may love the Red Sox even more than your average non-bot.

Based on ChatGPT's opinion of baseball's most overrated players, whoever's entering the data for these services appears to be ... gasp ... from BOSTON!

Yankees fans should boycott ChatGPT, which is obviously a Red Sox fan

Every time I learn that a pretentious writer type is a Sox fan, my jaw absolutely drops. It's always shocking. This person whose entire existence is based on a raised eyebrow supports the lil' engine that could (owned by the massive Fenway Sports Group)? The team whose fans want you to believe they've invented baseball, and only they know how to foster and care for the sport? Impossible!

Considering writers from Boston seem to self-multiply by the minute, it shouldn't be shocking that the automated tech meant to replace writers also somehow seems to be from Boston. Pretty solid impression you got there, Mr. Roboto.

And, remember, Boston is the aggressors. They have been for a generation now. Four World Series to one since 2000. They're the ones who show up to your stadium to cause trouble. We're just sitting here trying not to fight back.

Derek Jeter is no stranger to the term "overrated"; it's become almost reflexive amongst a generation of fans that didn't watch him to connect the two. The generation he repeatedly defeated also loves to stoke fires by making the very salient point that his defensive statistics don't match the eye test. Wow. Points for originality.

But Babe Ruth? Joe DiMaggio?! This particular AI isn't nearly as much fun as Haley Joel Osment -- and that one wasn't exactly a barrel of laughs either!

Stay tuned for ChatGPT's next round of responses, when it calls Tom Brady "the ideal presidential candidate" and says the "best place to get a cold drink" is "the bottom of the Charles River".