No matter how you slice it, Tuesday night was an all-time embarrassment for the Toronto Blue Jays against a New York Yankees team that refused to lay down and die.
All the brashness. All the boasting. All the insults from -- sorry, am I reading this right? -- from Toronto's manager? All the ejections. All the bullpen meltdowns. All the cheating allegations. All the actual cheating!! That's a game you cannot lose if you're the Blue Jays.
But ... lose it they did, surrendering a powerhouse Aaron Judge home run 450 feet to dead central in the eighth inning to ruin a 24-hour victory lap over unsubstantiated allegations of side eye. Turns out, Judge can hit dingers whether he's casually glancing at his own dugout or not. Groundbreaking discovery.
And, as Judge crossed the plate following his mammoth blast that shattered a plastic maple leaf (which is like stabbing Canada in the heart), he took a little moment of personal vengeance.
Yankees MVP Aaron Judge did the "no-look" celebration after his game-winning home run
Hopefully, this home run celebration has a better outcome than the time Judge and the Yankees were chilly and needed to close their jerseys in Houston.
In case Judge going Full Bird Box after crossing the plate wasn't enough, it kind of, sort of seems like the Yankees may have referenced Vladimir Guerrero Jr.'s "movie" comments with their post-win tweet.
Remember how we've seen the "trailer" and are still waiting on the movie? According to the Yankees, Judge's homer was cinema, actually. Guerrero Jr.'s project is "Grown Ups 2".
Tuesday's contest was a genuine absurdity, and the hard-fought win still came with plenty of bad news for the Yankees. Germán was dumb enough to get himself suspended for having the "stickiest hands" umpire James Hoye has ever felt. Ian Hamilton is going to "be down for a little bit" after getting loose and succumbing to a tight groin in the wake of Germán's abrupt departure.
And yet ... Toronto still couldn't win a game they absolutely had to have for bragging rights purposes. This game mattered as much as a single game could possibly matter in a mid-May AL East rivalry battle, and the Jays let Judge get the no-look last laugh.
No matter the outcome of the rest of the series, Toronto's staff already comes off like the biggest possible group of losers.