The Yankees 2017 championship hinges on making three key trades today

The First Day of the Rest of Your Life

Today is also the best day to find a new ace: both Matt Harvey and Noah Syndergaard are coming off of the DL. [Editors note, yes, again: It’s spelled Syndergaard; believe it or not, accuracy and spelling are part of your job, pal.].

Humbled Harvey even has a 5.25 ERA. Wow, he really has been Mets-ed, hasn’t he?

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A trade to the Yankees would drop his ERA by two full points, and insert a front line pitcher who would surely have the best month of his career. And while the Mets have zero interest in trading Loki, oops, I mean Thor, I’m sure SYNDERGAARD does.

He’s already been attacked by the baseball gods just for trying to get better. He must see that he either get out of Queens now or risk permanent debilitation.

Think of the Yankees team depth these trades would create. Yes, all these Mets players and more suck it hard now; Yankees and Mets alike can agree on that. But a trade can make them great—along with the Yankees season—and we all want that, too, Yankees and Mets fans alike.

Mets Dreams go Floating By

Besides, Yankees fans know what it means to root for a homegrown player. You want them to be great and to help win multiple championships. And the good news is that they still can. Just not for the Mets.

But don’t worry: Yankees victory parades are in the same city. Mets fans can go to root on their favorite ex-players floating through the Canyon of Heroes. They can even wear their Mets hats until it’s proven that the wool they are made from causes sterility or senility or some damn thing.

That might not be the way these beleaguered fans envisioned their dream coming true, but dreams often come true in forms unimagined by man or Met. Well, the Mets dream of finishing above .500 again but, hey, we all have to have dreams, huh?

Next: Yankees Farm Teams Head to the Playoffs

The Yankees, meanwhile, the dream of championship number twenty-eight. Adding two or three Mets players today might just help them do that in 2017. I, meanwhile, dream of a fresh bag of crunchy Cheetos. And I’m going to have my mom buy me that bag when she gets done cleaning my room.

Editor’s Note, final: I’m with his mom right now, and the room is not what’s she’s cleaning. Why do you think we let this guy keep posting this trash?