Yankees: Hal Steinbrenner talks big, but lacks any credibility

(Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)
(Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images) /

Yankees owner, Hal Steinbrenner, delivered a win or else speech to the team the other day telling them they’d “better make the Playoffs,” or else. Or else what, Hal?

When Yankees principal owner, Hal Steinbrenner, woke up on a recent morning, it was like it suddenly dawned on him his baseball team was in the midst of a highly contested pennant race. And in a moment of panic, he became conscious of the fact that he’s been reticent lately.

And gosh darn it, he had to do something to rally the team. And it was in that flash, his long-term memory recalled of his dad and what he would have said in these dire times. With growing ease and comfort, he then trotted out what his dad would have been saying for months now, (paraphrasing) “Get into the playoffs, guys. Or else!”

And then, he leaned back in his chair, satisfied that he had said it and disappeared into the woodwork again.

Seeing through you

The only trouble is that we’re not stupid, Hal. And we can see right through you. Or else what, Hal. What are you gonna do if the Yankees don’t make it to the playoffs? Are you going to ax Joe Girardi and Brian Cashman the next day like your Dad probably would have?

Are you going to “visit” the clubhouse on the eve of the next series with Boston like your dad would have? Or maybe you’re going to have a one-hour sit-down with the media extolling the deficiencies of some of your players.

And you’ll tell the reporters in no uncertain words that Masahiro Tanaka has been nothing short of a disaster and how Aaron Judge is not, contrary to what everyone else seems to think, the next Mickey Mantle, yet. And how your mother can catch a baseball better than Gary Sanchez ever will.

And maybe just to show everyone who’s boss, you’d have fired the Yankee’s hitting coach, Marcus Thames, as a reminder to show everyone you can. That is if you meant what said.

And, by the way, everyone knows you trotted out your hatchet man during the showdown with Dellin Betances during his arbitration hearing. Yeah, you’re the boss alright, making the kid cry over a couple of million dollars. Your dad must have been crying too.

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Hal, at this point, it’d be better if you just stayed within yourself, counting the dollars that keep pouring into your treasury. Because even though you won’t admit it, the youth movement engineered by your General Manager was welcomed only because you saw the potential of what shedding salaries would mean to the bottom line.

And right or wrong, you would never have been outbid in the Chris Sale Sweepstakes over the winter, in particular by the Red Sox!  Along with that, you would have violated MLB rules a dozen times by announcing that Jake Arrieta will be a Yankee in 2018, tacking on Bryce Harper and Manny Machado to boot, in 2019.

Different  people, different strokes

Unlike Donald Trump, though, who made it a personal goal to trump everything his father did in Queens by moving to the real Big Apple, Manhattan, to conduct his real estate shenanigans, you are not believable and every time you open your mouth, you look more foolish than you did the last time.

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And if you had known better, you would have realized that the Yankees have this. And so does your manager. And they’re doing a pretty good job themselves, thank you very much.

All I’m waiting for is that moment in the clubhouse when your team reaches the World Series, they hand you the trophy, and Brett Gardner dumps ten gallons of Gatorade all over that $1500 suit you’ll be wearing.

Because only then will the actual value of your “fighting words” be shown to all.