Yankees allow 24-hours of unprecedented access to war room

11:43 p.m.

“Is this the dentist, Mr. Yuh Arm Mee

Yes, I know what time it is. But you know how you paid us a million dollars to advertise yourself as the official dentist of the Yankees? Yeah, well, this comes with the package.

Good. Okay, here’s the deal, Judge just broke a tooth and will need it repaired or replaced or something. He already looks enough like Opie Taylor. If he starts showing up with a chipped tooth, we might have to trade him to Atlanta.

Can we bring him by tonight? The last thing I want is him staring at it all night, taking sad, private pictures. That’d be horrible.

Tomorrow? Keep him away from mirrors? Alright, I’ll work on it, Dr. Mee.”