Yankees allow 24-hours of unprecedented access to war room

(Photo by Mike Stobe/Getty Images)
(Photo by Mike Stobe/Getty Images) /
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(Photo by Stephen Brashear/Getty Images) /


“Hi; oh, it’s Robbie! (Taking the phone away from his mouth) Hey, everyone, Cano has called to say hi; (returns to the call). Hey, how’s it going Robbie? You’re having a great year; you All-Star you!

What’s that? You were wondering if we might want to make a trade to bring you back? Didn’t you realize the Mariners were never going to win? They keep adding free agents while getting worse each year?

The last Dominican you saw in Seattle was a friar? The local stores think a banana is the same thing as a plantain?

And Tacoma’s night life is a little less ‘happening’ than Manhattan’s? Well, don’t blame yourself; no one could have seen that one coming. Well, we kinda have a second baseman, man. The best I can do is send you a case of Malta. Good luck in the playo…I mean for the rest of the regular season.”