Yankees get roasted after clearly begging long-haired bat boy to change his vibe
By Adam Weinrib
All game long during Monday's squeaker against the Cleveland Guardians, Twitter had a field day with imagining how Yankees owner George Steinbrenner and his descendants felt about a bat boy (likely provided by the home team) with shoulder-length blonde hair (and a little facial hair for good measure).
On Tuesday, the story got kicked up a notch. Turns out, the damned Yankees actually did care about the bat boy vibe shift, and a very different version of the same dude greeted us on Tuesday.
Perhaps looking to switch things up after a tough loss and a James Karinchak scream, somebody in the Yankees front office got the bat boy to hide his hair under his helmet.
Noticeably, the Yankees helmet was also replaced by a Rawlings helmet. Somebody (Hal, we know it was you) didn't want to take any chances.
No action taken on the mustache, though.
According to Michael Kay, the bat boy's name is Nate. He's in a band. He's a drummer. That band is called Open Doors. And his hair has to be different now. Sorry, man. Weird rules are rules.
Even Kay, on Monday's broadcast, confidently stated, "There are rules. Rules are rules. He’s disobeying two of them." Perhaps he was the one who called in the hit on Nate's hairline.
Yankees demand bat boy with long blonde hair hide his locks, Twitter destroys them
Even for a humorless organization, this seems like a step too far into self-parody.
On the same night we got introduced to the Orioles' Dong Bong, we got to see a decades-old Yankees policy get a cloud of dust blown off it.
Understandably, most baseball fans didn't really have the time to see the Yankees' side of this one.
Might be fun to hear 'em out, though.
Some Yankees fans simply held out hope that the bat boy was doing a little bit of trolling and hadn't actually been ordered to shape up or ship out by the Yankees' brass.
We wish we had enough faith in the Yankees to be able to envision someone else being responsible.
And so, both franchise's running jokes will continue until the three-game set wraps up tomorrow. The Guardians will continue to pretend the Yankees play in Queens, while the Yankees will take the next step in their decades-old war on hippies. Maybe we can get Josh Naylor to rock whichever baby had this hair-brained idea.
And damn it, Mattingly, shave those sideburns!