Yankees get roasted for worst possible timing on Luis Severino bobblehead night

Are you *sure* you want to give these away tonight? You still have time.
Chicago White Sox v New York Yankees - Game One
Chicago White Sox v New York Yankees - Game One / Elsa/GettyImages

Reportedly, Carlos Rodón is set to make his Yankees debut on Friday night at Yankee Stadium. He won't fix the offense. He won't magically conjure a left fielder. He might struggle to get his feet wet. But at least he'll be there. The game should be a reminder of the endless hope of baseball, and the possibility of new beginnings, even when things look bleakest.

Instead, all eyes will be on the source of Thursday's failures as, by some stroke of disaster, the Yankees have scheduled Luis Severino bobblehead night for Friday evening in the Bronx.

Yup. The same Severino who's allowing a .315 batting average to all opponents, turning every also-ran in the game into Freddie Freeman automatically.

This might be the only bobblehead night in MLB where weird merchants are waiting outside after the game to absolutely make sure you don't accidentally give them your extra dolls to sell. So make sure you show up an hour and a half before the gates open and stand in line in blazing 90 degree heat to get your Sevy bobbles -- so you can chuck them on the field later in the evening.

Yankees' Luis Severino Bobblehead Night: Bad Idea, or Worst Idea?

It's not too late. You can tell fans the Sevy bobbles blew up in a factory accident. Everyone will nod their heads and believe you. They want to believe you.

Unfortunately, any "unforeseen shipping accident" won't arrive in time to prevent Twitter jokes. Even the launch of "Threads" couldn't stop the Yankees from being roasted on the platform.

Honestly, that's a pretty good idea. The Severino dolls head should spin like the girl in "The Exorcist." Maybe it should even come with a Gunnar Henderson doll to take it yard.

7.07 would actually be an improvement on Severino's ERA; his current mark is 7.38. With a 1.805 WHIP. 1.805!

Severino hasn't been the same since midway through the 2018 season, when his shoulder was clearly barking in silence (a problem that was discovered prior to the 2019 campaign). Maybe he forgot the start time to his ALDS outing that fall on purpose? Honestly, the game not being played would've been a better outcome.

It's been so long since Severino was right that Yankee fans have forgotten which year they'd have to time travel back to in order to witness his peak.

It's time for both parties to move on this offseason. It's just a shame that Sevy's "walk year" hasn't set himself (or the team) up for success.

2022? He was important enough to the Yankees' success to earn a bobblehead night. 2023? Jhony Brito would be a more palatable option. Makes you think and/or puke.