Yankees' David Wells torches Nike, blames 2023 players for awful season in wild rant

Well, that's certainly something!

Houston Astros v New York Yankees
Houston Astros v New York Yankees / Jim McIsaac/GettyImages
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Burly, mustachioed Yankees left-hander David Wells' advice could be shockingly pertinent in 2023, considering someone who kind of looks like his exact clone is struggling through Year 1 of a six-year deal in the Bronx right now.

Wells grabbed the microphone while he was in town for Old-Timers' Day, but didn't discuss Carlos Rodón much, instead giving what future generations will later describe as The Most David Wells Interview of All Time.

Wells brushed past the metaphorical curtain with a bang, arriving with the Nike Swoosh on his pinstriped jersey covered with tape. While many Yankee fans have probably dreamed of removing the corporate logo for aesthetic purposes/tradition -- and would likely prefer the Starr Insurance sleeve patch be gone, too -- Wells had a different justification for the move, claiming that Nike (along with Bud Light) was "too woke." Oh.

More pertinently, he discussed the 2023 Yankees' downfall, bringing the same verve with which he discussed corporations and their liberal leanings. Counterintuitively, Wells admonished the current Yankees for being too soft, all the while reacting quite softly to politics he didn't enjoy and advertising campaigns he disagreed with.

Yankees' David Wells wants Brian Cashman, Aaron Boone to send struggling, expensive players to minors

Would you believe he fought with Keith Olbermann on Sunday? Of course you would.

Interestingly, Wells blamed neither Brian Cashman nor Aaron Boone for the 2023 Yankees being stuck in the mud. Instead, he believes the players are at fault -- which is certainly true -- and thinks Cash and Co. should've made a statement by demoting some of their highest-paid Yankees to the minors -- which is probably impossible.

"It always seems that the (general managers), the managers and all of that are getting fired, and getting blamed for it, and it’s the players’ (fault). If you’re not doing the job out on the field, and if I was a GM, I would start sending a message.

I don’t care who it was, if he was in the stink hole — pardon my French, if you can say that now. I don’t know. But send that son of a gun to Triple A or Double A and send him a wake-up call. They did it to me. They did it to a lot of us back in the day. You’ve got to send a message. I don’t care how much money you’re making."

David Wells

First of all, you can definitely say "stink hole" these days, and more people probably should.

Second, while Wells is spot on, and it's certainly easier to fire a manager/coach/GM than it is to stare down the barrel of a gun and replace an entire team (side note: Wells also advocated for staring down the barrels of guns), the person who arranged this collection of mismatched, underperforming players is probably at fault for their drudgery.

Wells calls it like he sees it, and always will. While it was nice to hear someone unafraid to take a torch to the current roster -- especially as they continued to disrespect the 1998 team's tradition, fittingly getting blown out on their special day -- there is probably more to the team's struggles than what Wells laid out. Just like there's more to Bud Light/Nike's dreaded "wokeness" than something so simplistic.