Wandy Peralta: Miami Marlins (Two Years, $18 Million)
Alright ... so ... the gnarly truth is that a two-year deal for Peralta is far more dangerous than a one-year deal for Middleton, especially given the 32-year-old's metrics, which could explode at any moment.
There's a chance that the funky left-hander is the Reverse Andrew Heaney, and that no matter what his FIP, spin and walk rate say he should be, he'll always manage to come out on top anyway. Unfortunately, it's far more likely that regression is nigh, and the Yankees are lucky it didn't really come in the second half of 2023 after they opted not to shop Peralta at the deadline.
So, what's a team that fancies themselves a bit more central to the narrative than the rest of the world does entering 2024? The Padres are looking to cut payroll, not add it in the bullpen. The Detroit Tigers make some sense, but they're probably still a year away from making moves like this. A return to the San Francisco Giants is a fun thought, but they're the ones who didn't trust Peralta's development in the first place (or truly coveted one year of Mike Tauchman).
We're going with the NL Wild Card team that embraces funk, but probably has a heightened sense of themselves after living through remarkable one-run game luck in 2023. Like Peralta, they survived an impending regression that never came. Now, someone besides Kim Ng will be calling the shots, and that person will presumably be instructed to treat the Marlins like a team that really belonged in the playoffs and must continue to chug forward.
Peralta might be extremely fun in Miami. Here's hoping he's able to continue to fulfill his duties, even though the underlying numbers are coughing loudly and daring you to notice.