MLB insider pitches Yankees offseason Jake Bauers trade and we can't believe it

For those who believe in Brian Cashman pulling off magic, this exact scenario would require him to summon all of his powers and execute in the offseason. The New York Yankees were one of the most disappointing teams in the sport this year, and put themselves in a terrible position as it pertains to positioning certain assets.

Good luck capitalizing on depreciated resources, regressions and overall lackluster play. Not sure what that'll get you in an always-demanding trade market.

But Joel Sherman of the New York Post (subscription required) apparently thinks the Bombers can pull off a coup in a potential deal with the Miami Marlins. In his most recent column, Sherman's "totally fake trade that is never happening" features Jake Bauers being sent to Miami in exchange for reliever Tanner Scott.

You might be familiar with Scott from his Orioles days, when he effortlessly mowed down the Yankees in countless appearances out of the bullpen (career 2.50 ERA and 26 strikeouts in 18 innings vs New York).

Baltimore cut him loose after a bad 2021, however, when he finished with a 5.71 ERA and 1.57 WHIP. His first year in Miami in 2022 wasn't great, either, as he posted a 4.31 ERA and 1.61 WHIP in 62.2 innings. This season? Totally different. He logged a 2.31 ERA, 2.17 FIP and 0.99 WHIP with 12 saves and 104 strikeouts in 78 innings of work.

MLB insider pitches Yankees offseason Jake Bauers trade and we can't believe it

And the Marlins are going to trade that (he's a lefty, by the way!) to the Yankees for a guy who plays mediocre defense at multiple positions and just put up a .202/.297/.413 line in 84 games this past season? Before that, he was bouncing around the league and didn't appears in the bigs in 2022.

Remember how the Yankees were high on his swing and they thought they'd unlocked something when he was mashing in Triple-A? Turns out they just temporarily figured out whatever the Rays did with him back in 2018 before Tampa shipped him off to Cleveland (another team that fell for it) in exchange for Yandy Diaz.

The Yankees are not pulling off Part II of an improbable heist after the world watched Bauers strike out in 35% of his at-bats in the Bronx.

If the Marlins reportedly backed out of a Pablo Lopez-for-Gleyber Torres trade, what're the chances they even hear something like this out before hanging up the phone 30 seconds into the conversation? Miami made the playoffs. They clearly managed to move in the right direction despite organizational turmoil, while the Yankees have "sustained" their front office model only to regress for four straight seasons.

Bauers was nothing but an eyesore in 2023, outside of a couple of nice diving catches and aesthetically-pleasing home runs. Sherman's right. This is never happening. Realistically, Bauers probably can't be traded for anything resembling a replacement-level player.