Jose Altuve contract extension, road ballpark takes create surprise Yankees nightmare

Oh, great, Jose Altuve could leave the Houston Astros! Where's he going? ...Wh-where's he going...?

San Diego Padres v Houston Astros
San Diego Padres v Houston Astros / Carmen Mandato/GettyImages

Jose Altuve spoke to FanSided's The Baseball Insiders via a partnership with 2Hoots Hard Iced Tea.

Bet you didn't know this, but Jose Altuve's contract with the Houston Astros expires following the 2024 season. He's become so entrenched in Houston that the uniform has fused with his skin, but in reality, he hasn't talked contract since before the 2018 season, when he was freshly ringed. That five-year, $151 million deal takes him through '24, at which point he and super agent Scott Boras might just explore free agency for the first time in forever.

Yes, that Scott Boras.

There's a good chance he finishes his Hall of Fame career in Houston, but thanks to Altuve's appearance on The Baseball Insiders podcast this week, we now know it might get dicier than a sweating Yankees reliever facing the diminutive second baseman with two on and two out in the ninth.

When FanSided's MLB insider Robert Murray asked if Altuve and the team had talked extension at all, the second baseman said, emphatically, "Nah, nothing. Nope."

Will Jose Altuve leave Astros for another Yankees nemesis?

Astros GM Dana Brown reiterated his desire to keep Altuve long-term earlier this season, and professed, "At the end of the day, I think we'll get both guys done." That said ... it hasn't happened yet, and Altuve claims the two sides haven't addressed it.

Nice. Great. Yankee fans should be thrilled! Even the minute possibility of Altuve leaving the dynastic Astros should be greeted by -- I'm sorry, WHAT is his favorite road crowd to interact with?

"I like Boston a lot. Playing there, they're so close to the On-Deck Circle that you can talk to some kids," Altuve stated, driving a stake through Brian Cashman's heart. He went on to admit that he loves to go out and get food in New York, but that just ... isn't the same answer.

Altuve professed to love being able to fist bump kids around the ballpark, no matter what city he's in. But Boston was the first town to come to mind. And you can already see it, right? Alex Cora in the dugout? Undersized underdog carving out a new Bostonian niche for the final chapter of his career? Why wouldn't the most prominent Yankee torturer end up playing for the primary Yankee torturing team?

The only good thing about playing Altuve over the years was that he was not wearing a Boston B on his head -- and, in fact, that he occasionally crushed the Red Sox' dreams, too. If 2024-25 free agency changes all that, it might be time to take an extended detox from Yankees baseball.