Former Yankees, Blue Jays OF completely baffled by New York's base running 'talents'

Why won't Gleyber Torres slide, exactly? The baseball world is baffled.
Boston Red Sox v Toronto Blue Jays
Boston Red Sox v Toronto Blue Jays / Tom Szczerbowski/GettyImages

If this week represented your introduction to 2023 Yankees Baseball ... first of all, apologies, but congrats on making it this long without absorbing any. Second, no, we have no idea why it looks like that, either.

With a chance to play spoiler down the stretch against the Toronto Blue Jays in two different series, the Yankees made quick work of their first opportunity, falling flat on their faces in the series opener in the Bronx on Tuesday. They fell 7-1 and rarely threatened. When they actually did muster a rally against Heavy Sleeper Yusei Kikuchi, it was efficiently extinguished by a Giancarlo Stanton double play ball.

According to stat maven Katie Sharp, this was the Yankees' 16th loss by six or more runs this season, which matches their total from 2021 and 2022 combined. This year's team has been getting summarily dismissed time and again. In order to get blown out this often, you need to lack skill in many different areas. The Yankees don't hit for power. They don't hit for average. They don't run quickly or with a sense of purpose. They pitch, on occasion.

Consider three-time All-Star Vernon Wells among the baffled. While he didn't get to watch the Yankees' Special in person (running to third for no reason on a ground ball hit ahead of them, getting tagged), he did get to witness a variation on the bungle. One of Stanton's double play balls left Wells speechless, not just because of the slugger's footspeed, but because Gleyber Torres opted out of sliding into second base.

Yankees can't run bases, Vernon Wells confounded

Wells' final season in MLB came in 2013 with the Yankees, and things didn't even get this consistently atrocious on that boring-as-hell team.

Like the Travis Hafner/Lyle Overbay Yankees, the 2023 version is aging and slow. But at least that outdated model came with veteran know-how. Shockingly, these Yankees veterans seem to know very little, which has each new viewer wondering, "...How?"

Waiting for Frank Catalanotto, Justin Smoak or Marco Scutaro to weigh in on the other side of this equation to explain what exactly Torres was doing here. A good-old-fashioned Blue Jays Veteran Debate could be interesting. Until then, we'll just assume this was a Torres brain fart with no justification.