Hilarious typo has Yankees fans laughing at genuinely unfortunate injury update

New York Yankees reliever Jake Cousins will more than likely not appear in a regular-season game in 2025, an ominous reality that most fans came to grips with when his elbow first started barking in spring training. If you're looking for a comment from Cousins, though, it may take a while; he's busy wandering around a field digging and scrounging, per sources.

After word leaked earlier in the week that Cousins' rehab had been paused after additional elbow pain, Aaron Boone delivered the follow-up information to a group of gathered reporters on Wednesday evening. It swiftly sped along the information superhighway to the rabid fans who are always eagerly awaiting every bite and nugget.

But ... one interpretation of the information, in the rush to be first, still hit us upside the head a little bit.

According to Greg Joyce of the New York Post, first on the scene: "Jake Cousins has a UCL injury, but is still in the process of gathering onions, Aaron Boone said."

Yankees reliever Jake Cousins has concerning UCL injury, and will gather as many onions as it takes to get to the bottom of it

"Still in the process" is the most heartbreaking part. Cousins' baseball future may be hanging in the balance, and he's coping by roaming the countryside, desperately pawing at stalks and coveting bulbs. The man is objectively lost. End the process of onion-gathering, Jake. Come back to us.

Rude of Aaron Boone to blow up his spot, too. Just say he's at home resting, dude. No need to raise our blood pressure, re: the effect of the stress of onion-gathering on the ulnar collateral ligament.

Real quick, do we have a separate 60-Day IL reserved for those who live off the land? And who may not want to be found? Who prioritize the harvest over surgical rehabilitation?

Though Joyce was quick to amend the typo in a follow-up tweet ... man, there's nothing you can do about a mistake in a news-breaking tweet. The word is already out there. All you can do is put a smile on — yes, even if the news is more than likely terrible.

Kudos to Joyce for keeping it up and giving fans the tiniest bit of levity in a bullpen-altering situation and a brutal blow for one of 2024's breakout relievers. We're laughing with you, Jake (when you're ready). But I'm not crying. It's just the onions.