Gerrit Cole's 2026 Yankees debut featured Red Sox bozo getting what he deserved

Spring training games are weird. They don't count. Everyone's building up and trying to get ready. Pitchers enter and exit the same contest repeatedly. The wins and losses are generally misleading. A combination of five MLB arms can shove for three hours, only for a Single-A cameraman to walk six men in the ninth and lose it. Somehow, Wednesday's Yankees-Red Sox game was even more of an exhibition than usual: Gerrit Cole, in almost purely ceremonial fashion, got the start.

Cole won't be appearing in a regular season game until mid-May or June, but because of the strength of his rehab and his celebrity, the Yankees decided to give him the honor of one inning to kick off the "rivalry" showdown. In an endless series of meaningless March games, this might've been the most emotionally meaningful and the least competitive.

Naturally, tryhard Red Sox leadoff hitter Braiden Ward treated it with the seriousness of Game 7 of the World Series, predictably trying to embarrass Cole and steal the focus. Ward's reaction to Cole's first pitch was a drag bunt. He then immediately stole second base. Thankfully, when he tried to swipe third, Austin Wells swiped the smirk off his face, gunning him down in front of all his friends. Ward reacted with a "No WAY!" pout and a statuesque pose, but eventually got the memo that nobody planned to challenge a correct call in the first inning on March 18, and jogged back to the dugout.

"If you're not here to play hard, then don't step on the field!" Valid. Heard ya, Dorchester. I'm sure Cole appreciated, somewhat, being pushed and sharpened. But it's painfully clear Ward wasn't trying to win. He was trying to make a name for himself. He's been doing it all spring. He has 19 stolen bases in 39 at-bats, obliterating the Grapefruit League all-time record. You know why he holds that record? Because baseball players have had a standing handshake agreement for 150 years not to give two sh-ts about that record.

Now, he's pushed it one step too far — yes, somehow one step farther than pretending to be Rickey Henderson — and ate a face full of glove for his troubles.

You're allowed to do whatever you want. And if it's eyewash bullsh-t in a game that everyone agrees counts for nothing, we're allowed to laugh at you when you fall on your face. Them's the rules.

How did Yankees' Gerrit Cole perform around Braiden Ward's "look at me" act, and how hard did he throw?

Very hard.

The break on his curveballs was immediately noticeable and familiar. Though Yankee fans would've been totally fine watching a kid-gloves Cole treat the outing like Old-Timers' Day, he certainly zipped a few regular season-ready heaters in there, dismissing Kristian Campbell and hitting nearly 99 MPH against backup catcher Jason Delay.

Who knows? Maybe someday Ward becomes a Dustin Pedroia-esque villain, if not a Rafael Devers-style Cole nemesis. Tellingly, though, he didn't even earn a Jose Caballero finger wag on Wednesday.

In other words, Ward feels bad for Cole, and Cole doesn't think about him at all.