Absurdly long list of Red Sox free agent targets has hilarious Yankees wrinkles

According to former MLB GM Jim Bowden, the Boston Red Sox represent the "best fit" for nearly everybody this offseason -- including some hilarious former Yankees.

New York needed to take advantage of this October's Boston-free playoff field, given that this winter will represent a pivotal offseason for its rivals. The Red Sox have the game's top farm system, which is ready to graduate significant talent. Their offense is stacked with young standouts like Jarren Duran and Wilyer Abreu. Their rotation leaves something to be desired, but that's why Craig Breslow was hired to install a pitching development plan -- which did show off some moderate gains in Year 1.

In other words, this is exactly when the Red Sox should start spending to supplement their core and challenge the Yanks. If they continue to sit on their hands ... great! Hilarious! They'll win 84 games. But if ownership decides to step up to the plate, Boston could represent a true obstacle next season.

While everyone in New York is hoping for a couple more of those "Chris Sale for Vaughn Grissom" trades, there could be bungles ahead in Boston's free agency strategy, too. Bowden, understanding the team's likely urgency, named the Sox as "best fits" for a number of options, both big and small. Roki Sasaki, if he posts from Japan, will be on the Red Sox radar (though he feels like a Dodger). Corbin Burnes? Well, that's obvious.

But Yankees fans' interest was piqued by the bottom of the list, featuring "buy moderate" option Luis Severino and demoted closer Clay Holmes. Please. Yes. That. Pay that.

Red Sox free agency "best fits" include Yankees' Clay Holmes, ex-Yank Luis Severino

Based on crunching the numbers ... let me just ... crunch one more time ... yes, I concur, Holmes would be a good fit for the ninth inning, specifically, at Fenway Park. Case closed! How many Clay Holmes can I put you down for?

The Sox could pull off a shrewd David Stearns-esque backfill with moderately priced talent, vaulting directly into contention. They could also blow their entire budget on a single ace like Burnes or Max Fried, which could be ... honestly, probably not the move.

Or they could overpay a bunch of seventh-inning relievers and become the second straight team to attempt to unearth Sevy and receive Playoff Sevy instead. We choose Option C.