Bill Simmons' punk Yankees' World Series rant proves Red Sox fans are a tired act

The New York Yankees are in the World Series exactly 20 years after blowing a 3-0 lead in the 2004 ALCS against the Boston Red Sox and opening the door for their rival to break their 86-year championship curse. The hope is that the Yankees can continue to take spotlight off Red Sox fans celebrating the 20-year anniversary of that achievement.

Whether they do or not, it doesn't seem to matter to Red Sox fans, who missed the playoffs once again after threatening to "boycott" the 2024 season because of John Henry, only to quickly buy right back in after their promising start. A fraudulent fanbase is every sense of the word.

And, of course, leave it to the Red Sox couch analysts to feel like they possess any sort of right to devalue the Yankees' success this year. Don't worry about the 2018 Red Sox going 31-7 against the 47-115 Orioles and 73-89 Blue Jays. That was cool because they were beating down on inferior opponents en route to claiming the top seed in the AL.

For Bill Simmons and the rest of Red Sox Nation, the Yankees' path to the 2024 World Series was a joke because it featured the Kansas City Royals and Cleveland Guardians. Not hard enough to legitimize their success. And you know what? There are some Yankees fans who wish the path had a bit more spice to it, whether it had been a feisty division rival or another matchup with the hated Astros.

But you can't control who you face in the playoffs. And in the end, the Yankees got the job done pretty handily (7-2). So, if Red Sox fans are so unimpressed by the Yankees winning an AL Pennant, may we ask a follow-up question? Where in the blue hell were you to stop us?

Red Sox fan Bill Simmons embarrassingly devalues Yankees' World Series trip (and forgets the Celtics!)

The Red Sox can hang their hat on beating the Yankees in 2004, 2018 and 2021, with two of those runs resulting in championships. But it's absolutely hilarious that Simmons was completely delusional in his recent criticism. He said all of that to prompt people like us to write an article about it. And we are. We took the bait. But we'll have fun making sure to pick apart his salty argument.

"You hit .230 in nine playoff games and all of a sudden it's 'the big bad Yankees are back!'"

What does this even mean? The Yankees also scored 45 runs and hit 13 homers? We'll be the first to criticize their offensive output, but they also faced two of the best pitching staffs in the game.

"Soto! What an at-bat! 15 pitches against some f---ing pitcher I've never heard of!" Yes, a pitcher you've never heard of because you're a Red Sox fan that doesn't watch other baseball games and only tunes in when you're team is playing well. Hunter Gaddis was one of the best relievers in the sport in 2024. Let's revisit any clutch Red Sox postseason hit against a reliever we haven't heard of. That should be a fun assignment ... except we've probably heard of them because we watch other baseball games.

"The Yankees, who haven't won jack sh-- in 15 years, they've won one title this century, and now their fans think they're hot sh-- again." Yeah bud, it's called fandom ... kind of like when you didn't win sh-- for 86 years and finally needed the most historic comeback of all time to then think you were hot sh--? That's how this works, right? Or, wait, even better. You won four titles in a 14-year span and still cry about your team's ownership? And even with those titles, you have only five division crowns since 1996, missed the playoffs 16 times, and finished last place in the AL East six times, all of which have come since 2012? But let us guess, division titles and playoff appearances don't matter. Only World Series do, something that wasn't in your vocabulary until you turned 35 years old?

"I just can't wait for the Dodgers to ram it up their sphincters." Are you ok, dude?

Simmons' rant should be viewed as insufferable to any sports fan. This the exact reason why fandom has turned dangerously toxic and delusional. The days of Grantland are over. It's now turned into whatever this is, as he overlooks the Boston Celtics defeating the No. 8 seed Miami Heat, No. 4 seed Cleveland Cavaliers, No. 6 seed Indiana Pacers and No. 5 seed Dallas Mavericks en route to their championship that "doesn't get enough credit." Jimmy Butler, Donovan Mitchell and Tyrese Haliburton were also injured midway through that "impossible" path.

Yankees fans have hated watching the Yankees in the playoffs more than just about anybody since 2018. But man, we sure are glad we don't have to watch the Red Sox, whose fans are slowly turning into the modern day version of "27 rings" Yankees caricatures.