In a move seemingly designed in a Houston lab by Dr. Michael Schwab with the express goal of getting a bunch of Astros fans to tweet, “Triggered?!?!?” just before the All-Star break, there’s one scheduled troll every single day of this weekend’s Yankees series at Minute Maid Park.
Based on the order of operations, it seems Houston is extremely ready to celebrate losing the 2019 World Series to the Washington Nationals.
That year, the Astros’ season ended in despair, as neither team in the seven-game World Series managed to win a home game, meaning the raucous Houston crowd went home silenced four times in a difficult-to-fathom two-week period.
The final loss was the most devastating, as a late Howie Kendrick home run gave the Nationals a 3-2 lead in the seventh inning while ace Gerrit Cole sat stewing in the bullpen, so angry at his misuse that removed his Astros cap the second the final out of a 6-2 game was secured, replaced by a “Boras Corp” hat before he bolted in free agency.
And so, just like that, what should’ve been the early run of a dynasty became a one-time champion. Houston possesses only one World Series title to this day, a ring obtained through a complex system of real-time video transmission leading to technology-aided sign-stealing, for which they lost their manager, GM and bench coach, who went on to cheat in Boston as well.
Not sure why anyone would want to brag about that, but nevertheless, the Astros are pulling out all the stops to celebrate the 2019 World Series losers over the weekend while the Yankees are in town.
The Astros are celebrating their 2019 World Series-losing team against the Yankees this weekend.
Oh, we certainly understand why the Astros are jamming a 2019 celebration into every moment of the Yankees’ first visit to Houston since the ALCS that year. And if they’d like to give out a replica AL Champions trophy, a replica AL Champions ring, and a replica Jose Altuve jersey (maybe with “confetti” stuck on the inner neck part?), we completely get it.
But in New York we don’t, uh, celebrate years where we didn’t win the World Series? Seems like an obvious statement to make, but 2003 and 2001 were two of the most devastating endings in recent Yankees history. They were painful. One of those campaigns ended with a walk-off loss to a team with three years of franchise history to their names. Bet you couldn’t even find the Yankees’ actual AL Champions trophy from that season, let alone reproduce it to happily give a replica to a bunch of sneering second-place finishers. It’s probably in some filing cabinet with the Kei Igawa contract.
Then again, at this point, it shouldn’t shock anyone that the Astros care more about who has the upper hand in a Twitter war than who actually brought home the hardware. Their fans come from miles around just to dish it out daily.
And yet…it would seem…they can’t take it? Jose Altuve has decided to skip the All-Star Game, and doesn’t really want to be seen in public together outside the friendly confines of Houston more often than he has to.
Hmm. Very interesting.
The 2021 Houston Astros are a great team — so great, in fact, that someone might want to keep an eye on them.
Ultimately, we’re glad we’ll be there to witness their special moment: rejoicing around a team that lost the World Series in gut-wrenching fashion.