Yankees: This D-Backs stat will make you embarrassed for NYY offense

Sure, the Yankees are struggling on offense lately. But fans are so whiny! You think being nearly .500 stinks? Well, try rooting for the Diamondbacks and get back to me!

Wh–what’s that? I’m … I’m so sorry, but it turns out the Diamondbacks’ offense looks like the 2009 Yankees compared to what we’re putting out on the field in the Bronx daily.

So sorry. Guess I should’ve done my research before trying to throw you a pity party.

At this point, Yankee fans have heard enough from fans of opposing teams who want you to believe that what you’re experiencing is “not so bad” and is simply your everyday, run-of-the-mill .500 record. Wrong!

In reality, Yankees fans are waking up every day knowing they have a largely-unchanged World Series contender with the best offense in baseball that simply … can’t hit. Can’t hit fastballs. Can’t hit breakers. Can’t hit pitches left middle-middle. There is no rhyme or reason to it.

This is a .500 team that’s lived through stretches of 6-11 and 5-13 (still going!) baseball. This is an offense that never works when the pitching clicks, and vice versa.

This is, in summation, a disaster that lags well behind the Arizona Diamondbacks at the plate, which is easily the worst team in baseball.

The New York Yankees offense could someday approach the Arizona Diamondbacks, who are terrible … someday …

Yeah, that’s the kind of garbage that makes you want to unplug the controller.

How do you justify buying at the deadline and re-tooling the roster when you’re 28 runs scored behind the D-Backs? Who do you even entertain selling? Opposing fans who think Yankee fans should calm down will never get it and are, in fact, trying hard not to get it by being contrarian. They’re trying so hard.

Check an offensive stat, and you’re guaranteed to find some certifiably embarrassing teams that rank ahead of the Yankees. Team batting average? The Bombers are 18th, in back of the Marlins, Orioles and Royals. Slugging? 18th again, behind those same O’s and Royals.

Well played, absolute dregs of the AL East! The Yankees have hit fewer homers than the Angels, Braves and Brewers.

This is the most disappointing offense in the league, and the hole their bats are digging (presumably by whiffing just above the home plate dirt, further eroding it) is only getting deeper by the day.

Add in the clutch stats — .221 with RISP and .200 with a runner on third and less than two outs, numbers that have only gotten worse in recent weeks — and you have a train wreck that can’t be diverted.

Hey, I’ve got it! Trade for Ketel Marte, Josh Rojas and the other standout Diamondbacks? Considering they’re running laps around you and everything.

Yankees must consider Triple-A outfielder who’s destroying baseballs

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