Yankees: JA Happ’s post-Yankee beard is getting out of control

Maybe we’re speaking out of turn, but as former Yankees lefty JA Happ’s season has continued, his ERA has ballooned, likely taking him out of the (shudders) trade speculation about a return to the Bronx.

No, seriously. The Twins are vastly under-performing, the Yankees will be in the market for a few of their players, and Happ (and Michael Pineda!) were likely en route to getting mentioned.

Following his no-hit bid against the Pirates (all of this really happened), Happ has backslid specifically against the Chicago White Sox, though, likely severing that connection once and for all.

That’s good news for both parties. The Yankees don’t repeat a clear blunder while sending their abrasive ex a midnight text message, and Happ gets to keep his beard, which is getting to be pretty insane.

Happ’s latest outing against the ChiSox was a thing of … the opposite of beauty, but he looked extremely rugged on the mound, at the very least.

This man is an all-caps EX-YANKEE. His scruff from a few weeks back was apparently nowhere near enough.

Ex-Yankees lefty JA Happ’s beard is a thing of hideousness with the Twins.

We’ve all seen the highlight of Yermin Mercedes rocking a 3-0 home run off Twins infielder Willians Astudillo, but before that happened, it was Happ on the mound helping to bury his team in a 15-4 deficit in the first place!

Fun!

All the non-beard goodwill from Happ’s start in the Twin Cities has dissipated, considering he’s now sitting on a 5.35 ERA (in a year dominated by pitching!), a 74 ERA+, and 20 strikeouts in over 35 innings pitched.

He’s specifically been tattooed by the White Sox, the on-the-rise team he was imported to beat. Instead of competing with Chicago in those divisional showdowns, they’ve drummed him.

Somehow, Minnesota’s season has gone so far off the rails you can find stars like Josh Donaldson and Jose Berrios below the rebuilding Detroit Tigers in the standings.

Perhaps … perhaps this helps explain why the Boston Red Sox have struggled with every good team they’ve faced in 2021 except the Twins on the road? You piece the puzzle together, we’ll just be here picking apart post-trade beards.

Now please, JA Happ, don’t make us write about you again.

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