The Yankees 2017 championship hinges on making three key trades today

(Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)
(Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)
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(Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)
(Photo by Elsa/Getty Images) /

The Yankees have made some good trades this summer. But there is only one day left to perhaps add their greatest impact players.

Yankees front office has to be lauded for their trades made so far. The last two weeks, however, have proven there is still more work to do. Yankees fans aren’t worried, though.

First, this is a rebuilding year. There are two or three key players that must come up from the minors—Gleyber Torres, Miguel Andujar, Chance Adams—before their roster is ready to go deep into October. And the Yankees need another ace. Brian will have the cash, man, to bring that player in this winter.

Second, and more importantly, is that Yankees fans are known for their patience. Are you starting to see where this article is going?

But there is still time today to trade for some real impact players. And, like Dorothy, the Yankees need not look any further than their back yard, Queens.

I know you, dear readers, and right now you are thinking, “Hey, what the frig is this friggin’ clown talkin’ about? Da Mets wood never trade wit da friggin’ Yankees? Fuggedaboutit! Dis guys a hack.”

You can tell I read the comments section.

This Article Comes with a Warning

And maybe that’s all true. But the banjo hitters in Queens have gotten worse since the end of July, and the Mets might be more in a mood to make a trade.

The question becomes, how many players worth trading for are there on a team with a record of 57-73? Before the Yankees can answer that question, we must start out with a little background.

Editor’s Note: We at YanksGoYard feel we must warn you about the content contained herein. We have read the comments section and know how some of you feel about these screeds.

This so-called writer is about to really, really pick on the Mets. Seriously. I haven’t read it yet, but I’m a little scared of what I might see. Be aware that some readers might be offended or even disgusted by what they read.

Put it to you this way: If you didn’t like his Bryan Mitchell article, you definitely are not going to like this one. Best to leave your insulting comments now and skip over to this lovely but innocuous piece by me, Steve Contursi.

You have been warned; now back to, whatever the hell this article is about.

MANDATORY CREDIT: STEPHEN DUNN/ALLSPORT
MANDATORY CREDIT: STEPHEN DUNN/ALLSPORT /

I’d Rather Have the Curse of the Mummy

The Mets seem to be under some sort of curse. And not like those phony bologna, cooked-up curses in Chicago and Boston. No, whatever the Mets have done to piss off the baseball gods, it was serious. Calling your eight-and-a-half month pregnant wife fat and lazy, kind of serious.

But that will play to the Yankees favor, as it has for so many other teams. You see, the Mets curse is both unique and painful as hell. They are allowed to win; that’s good. The negatives, however, far outweigh the positives.

One, any young Mets player who dares to be great will be struck down, his talents stripped. David Wright, Matt Harvey, Steven Matz, and now possibly Michael Conforto all stand as testament.

Testify

Two, all free agents brought in will automatically become much worse, and also possibly injured. Yoenis Cespedes joins a long, long, looooong, list that includes players such as Jim Fregosi, Mo Vaughn, Xavier Nady, Bobby “I’ll show you the Bronx” Bonilla, and of course Jason Bay.

But, three, there is hope for those sad young Mets: The curse states that, if a player can get out before being permanently disabled, he can have a successful career. That makes sense as the Mets are cursed; if one stops being a Met, he stops being cursed.

The obverse side of that coin, though, is also part of the curse. Those players don’t just save themselves; their releases often come with immediate and huge success.

Sometimes it is sustained, and sometimes it is the transitory joy of no longer being in orange and light blue, but most will perform at their highest levels for a period of in-determinant durations.

And often that success comes at the expense of the Mets. Mets fans know, as Yankees fans can see from the mainland, that this is the unkindest cut of all.

(Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images)
(Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images) /

And I Never Even Mentioned Seaver

Do we even need to talk about Daniel Murphy? He isn’t just one of the best hitters in the National League, which is the same league the Mets play in, he also is the current Mets killer. Rusty Staub was good and got better, while Nolan Ryan went from good to Hall of Fame good…immediately.

We can only imagine what might have happened to Amos Otis, Ken Singleton, and David Cone if they had not escaped Queens with their talent intact.

If you have read this excellent piece by Greg Joyce of the NY Post, you know this rich and proud tradition continues today with players such as Jay Bruce, Neil Walker, and even that ancient and former Yankees outfielder, Curtis Granderson.

Editors Note, again: And if you haven’t read it, stop reading this garbage and read his piece now. And then click on the link for Mike Vaccaro’s most recent David Wright article. Even Mr. Claus likes their stuff better than his. And, yes, Bryan Mitchell, so does his mother.

Now, if a Yankees fan and hack writer knows the only way to avoid the curse, then the Mets players know it, too. They know it…and they’re scared.

That makes this the prime time for the Yankees to trade for almost any of the Mets players. And remember, we can’t look at their current production. Once they become Yankees, their numbers will soar.

I have therefore created a Future Upgrade of Current and Known talents pie graph, to go with a Youthful Offense Uptick rubber chicken graph. I am not going to provide the combined acronyms, save to say that there is a hidden message for my editor.

(Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)
(Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images) /

Yankees Have Needs, Too

So, Yankees, just pick a position of need and get ready to add an All-Star caliber player. The Yankees should probably start with catcher as they are likely to have both of their regular catchers suspended, perhaps at the same time.

That makes Travis D Arnaud the first target. Even more encouraging for Yankees fans is that the Mets seem just about ready to give up on Travis. That is exactly what they said about Ryan before trading him; that bodes well.

Travis is currently hitting .231/.279/.394 with ten home runs. Wow, he really is god awful. But, using my conversion projections, he is almost certain to slash .285/.340/.515 with an additional ten home runs just in September.

For the Yankees, that is.

Yankees still concerned about first base? Young Dominic Smith must be truly terrified of what might happen to his pudgy body if he continues down this path of destruction. He’s struggling, which is understandable for a rookie, hitting just .161/.186 (seriously, take a pitch once in a while, guy)/.339. Smith does have three home runs, which is promising.

My guess is he is too afraid to do any better. Conforto was just swinging a bat and might miss a year. He was swinging a bat! Imagine what would happen if Dominic hit for the cycle; he’d probably get Crohn’s Disease or Shingles or something.

For both the Yankees and Smith, this trade needs to be made today.

(Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)
(Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images) /

The First Day of the Rest of Your Life

Today is also the best day to find a new ace: both Matt Harvey and Noah Syndergaard are coming off of the DL. [Editors note, yes, again: It’s spelled Syndergaard; believe it or not, accuracy and spelling are part of your job, pal.].

Humbled Harvey even has a 5.25 ERA. Wow, he really has been Mets-ed, hasn’t he?

More from Yanks Go Yard

A trade to the Yankees would drop his ERA by two full points, and insert a front line pitcher who would surely have the best month of his career. And while the Mets have zero interest in trading Loki, oops, I mean Thor, I’m sure SYNDERGAARD does.

He’s already been attacked by the baseball gods just for trying to get better. He must see that he either get out of Queens now or risk permanent debilitation.

Think of the Yankees team depth these trades would create. Yes, all these Mets players and more suck it hard now; Yankees and Mets alike can agree on that. But a trade can make them great—along with the Yankees season—and we all want that, too, Yankees and Mets fans alike.

Mets Dreams go Floating By

Besides, Yankees fans know what it means to root for a homegrown player. You want them to be great and to help win multiple championships. And the good news is that they still can. Just not for the Mets.

But don’t worry: Yankees victory parades are in the same city. Mets fans can go to root on their favorite ex-players floating through the Canyon of Heroes. They can even wear their Mets hats until it’s proven that the wool they are made from causes sterility or senility or some damn thing.

That might not be the way these beleaguered fans envisioned their dream coming true, but dreams often come true in forms unimagined by man or Met. Well, the Mets dream of finishing above .500 again but, hey, we all have to have dreams, huh?

Next: Yankees Farm Teams Head to the Playoffs

The Yankees, meanwhile, the dream of championship number twenty-eight. Adding two or three Mets players today might just help them do that in 2017. I, meanwhile, dream of a fresh bag of crunchy Cheetos. And I’m going to have my mom buy me that bag when she gets done cleaning my room.

Editor’s Note, final: I’m with his mom right now, and the room is not what’s she’s cleaning. Why do you think we let this guy keep posting this trash?

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