Rival MLB fans embarrassingly want Yankees investigated for cheating with new bats

Want to see a chunk of replies coagulating to form a cesspool? Look no further than ... every tweet! But, in this specific instance, check out a bunch of fans of MLB's less creative teams who seem to genuinely believe that the New York Yankees' new optimized bats, used to hit nine home runs in Saturday's slugfest, are about to be outlawed by the league for cheating.

No. Seriously. A large group of people genuinely seem to think that the Yankees opted not to run these by the league office, or that MLB forgot to check - or, better yet, looked the other way to help their golden boys!

The Yankees' bat redesign certainly looks funky - after all, there's a reason that Saturday's YES Network broadcast called out the lopsided innovations while Jazz Chisholm was at the dish.

If you genuinely think the Yankees were pulling a fast one on Rob Manfred and the entire umpiring crew that let this process continue unabated, though, your bias is showing and your Conspiracy Brain is leaking. Unfortunately, faith in humanity is approaching an all-time low; lots and lots of people seem to believe Saturday's Nestor Cortes ambush is going to get erased from the history books.

Yankees used new bats to hit nine home runs on Saturday vs. Brewers and rival fans are furious

I'd say yes, the chances that standard innovation gets "outlawed" after Saturday's record thumping are 0.00%. Didn't see anyone complaining during the Yankees' four-run "outburst" on Opening Day.

Yeah, get on this, Orioles! Several games late, but get on it!

What was the Yankees' "master plan" here, in these fans' minds? Publicly use bats that very obviously look different than normal. Tell their announcers to mention the changes on air. Hope everyone in MLB's legal department had the game on mute and couldn't notice?

No, that's when you slice a hole in the top of a bat, stuff it with cork, and make it lighter to swing. It has nothing with studying aerodynamics and making legal optimizations. Nice try, though!

Don't worry, though. It's not just the bats that are helping the Yankees cheat. It's also their long-time stadium dimensions and juiced balls.

Someone investigate these guys quickly! For everything! We don't have much time!

Until then, I guess the rest of the league will just have to keep kicking themselves? Because it seems the Yankees, for the first time in a while, might be ahead of the curve here. And right on the fastball.