Red Sox fans swarmed effortless villain Cam Schlittler's most innocent tweet yet

Welp. We gave Red Sox fans an entire offseason to get it through their heads, but they still haven't managed to understand it's possible for someone to be from Boston, get drafted by the Yankees, and enthusiastically pick the franchise he plays for over the one his idiot friends from home support.

If anything, Cam Schlittler's heel turn might be the strongest argument against Boston we've ever seen. Imagine waking up to the fact that your friends — and the anonymous, harassing randos you shared a birth city with — are so noxious and toxic that you'd rather spike them in the heart than have second thoughts?

Theoretically, Schlittler should be conflicted. He should toe the rubber against the Sox and see visions of his past. It should cloud his ability to function. He should be thinking of fond childhood memories, losing the plate inch by inch as familiar faces claw inside his skull. You thought Sam Darnold was seeing ghosts? Wouldn't a native son, and Bruins fan, see them even more clearly?

Yet Schlittler closed the door on the Red Sox's 2025 season with the most effortlessly dominant performance in Yankees playoff history last October — not an exaggeration, rivaled only by Roger Clemens in Seattle — and he did so fueled by the troll collective in which he was once raised. Unsurprisingly, a fleet of mouth-breathers crossed a line, in total disbelief that Schlittler's family could possibly support him. Come on! Dirty water is supposed to be thicker than blood!

And thus, Schlittler the Stone-Cold (Stone-Cole?) Killer was born. He gave Boston fans a four-month head start on reckoning with it. They didn't use it wisely.

All Schlittler has to do these days is tweet some variation on "New York" (or, let's face it, literally any word) and they'll come flocking to the chum like sharks who failed remedial reading comprehension.

Boston troll and Yankees budding ace Cam Schlittler still has Red Sox fans in his pocket

Yeah, definitely keep trying, guys. It worked so well last year. Keep it up. I'm sure you'll be the one to finally break him.

The truth is, Bostonians will continue to pretend they don't care, but it's killing them that the Yankees employ a Bruins fan and the son of a Massachusetts cop who wants nothing more than to extinguish them.

They love perpetrating the mass perception that they have rent in Gerrit Cole's head. When Cole owns them, you won't hear a peep. When they own Cole? You'll never hear the end of it. That's how they wake up. It's how they attack the day.

But Schlittler has the antidote. The narrative has been set. And he's not gloating. He's just going about his business. They cannot take it.

Yeah. He likes the B's. He probably likes a good lobster roll. Everything about him screams Boston. And yet he hates all of you! And it's your fault, not his.

Boston loves to pretend they're the only city with fans. The Yankees haven't had a player in forever who can stare that elitist passion in the face, blow 98 past Alex Cora's Grit Brigade, and walk back to the dugout with a stone face knowing that, the next time he logs into Twitter, he can make them dance like the pied piper no matter what he writes.

Sorry. Keep trying, though. One of these brilliant replies is bound to leave him questioning everything.