Red Sox reliever being tremendous toddler leads to benches clearing vs Brewers

How'd the Yankees get the reputation for being precious sticklers about baseball's unwritten rules when the Boston Red Sox were always right here?

While New York's facial hair policy eternally garners big laughs for its unnecessary formality, the Red Sox and their beloved "idiots" have always been close behind in terms of policing between the lines. Nick Pivetta always seems personally offended when opposing players homer off him, mentally searching the rule book for a way to erase the damage. Kenley Jansen never struggles. No, no. It's the pitch clock's fault, and you'd better believe he's not going to keep his thoughts to himself! For a team that seemingly benefits from the oddest bounces constantly, the Red Sox always love to claim that a lack of fairness is tilted in their general direction.

Which takes us to Sunday against the Brewers, when Red Sox reliever Chris Martin wanted to let Milwaukee first base coach Quintin Berry know that his team had been bunting too much. Way to go, Chris. Playing baseball is totally unfair. The Brewers should be restricted in the number of methods in which they can beat you! Level the playing field and all that. Boston persecution complex at its peak.

Berry's response? "F*** you," and then we were on.

Boston Red Sox reliever Chris Martin tells Brewers to stop bunting, clears benches

Martin, unlike his famous namesake, has zero idea to unleash a Cold Play. Just ... no chill whatsoever.

Unfortunately, the Red Sox were rewarded for their toddler ways on Sunday with a whiny win, salvaging the finale of their series with Milwaukee. That means the Red Sox are still undefeated on Sundays, even though Martin very much lost this battle of wits.

For those keeping track, that's 8-0 on Sundays, 19-26 on all other days. Feel like maybe Martin's blowing off some steam about something else. All we know is his Red Sox teammates had better not bunt anytime soon themselves. After all, it's forbidden. What's fair's fair.