MLB Standings: Yankees entering an absolute schedule pretzel during Royals series

It's simple. All the Yankees need to do to ensure they clinch a playoff spot this week is to win games -- but, by winning games, they'll make it easier for the Boston Red Sox to sneak into a playoff berth themselves. Ok, simple then: they just have to hope the Red Sox lose! Except ... well ... huh.

The Yankees' schedule down the stretch features a number of fun matchups and one final showdown (in the Bronx, baby) that could determine the AL East, but no terrifying road trips or death sentences. In other words, things are set up nicely; the Yankees are facing exclusively competent teams for the season's final weeks, which usually means they play better. Or, at least, it's meant that so far. Who knows what surprises September will hold?

Yankees Schedule: Difficult, annoying slate for week of Sept. 9-15

Unfortunately, this week, the Yankees are stuck in a particularly aggravating schedule pretzel before things get a little clearer. The Kansas City Royals come to town for a three-game set to start things off. KC's right behind the Yankees in a Wild Card spot, and it would obviously behoove the Yanks to take care of business so things don't tighten (also, every game is crucial in the AL East race, obviously).

Right behind the Royals, though, are the Boston Red Sox, a team led by serial cheater Alex Cora, as well as a club that's below .500 at home and does not deserve to make a run for it. Every time the Royals lose, it theoretically increases the chances of an unpleasant outcome.

Good thing we can still root against the Red Sox next wee -- oh. While the Yankees have Kansas City, the Sox have Baltimore. Every game Boston loses is a blow to New York's AL East hopes. But every game Boston wins draws them closer to October, as long as the Yankees also win. And if the Yankees lose, they might get overwhelmed by both teams situated behind them?

Far too much mustard on this pretzel for any inch of it to be enjoyable. It's one of those pretzels where you take a bite and you're like, "Wait, was this hot, or is it just the mustard? It's cold? Then why is my face skin boiling?"

At least -- at least -- the Mariners and Tigers have also drawn near-even with Boston. This one's easy. Go Mariners! Go Tigers! Forget the rest!