Craig Carton starts ridiculous gossip about John Sterling-Michael Kay feud

Thank God WFAN gave Craig Carton his job back after the time he spent in prison for securities fraud, wire fraud, and conspiracy to commit both offenses. Otherwise, we wouldn't have access to grade-school-level gossip about a 62-year-old broadcaster and an 84-year-old broadcaster.

This week, Carton went to the mat to claim there was some sort of blood feud simmering between YES Network's Michael Kay and WFAN's John Sterling following the Yankees' annual Homecoming Dinner.

You know Sterling and Kay, right? Former partners on the radio before Kay leapt to television. Icons in the market. One of them is 84 years old. Definitely sound like the kind of people who could get in a catty high school drama fight at the drop of a hat.

"Per Carton's sources," Sterling was supposed to introduce Ron Marinaccio at the dinner, setting up Kay to introduce Aaron Judge. That tracks. Kay loves bombast. He was probably really hype about it. Unfortunately, something got mixed up, and Sterling introduced him instead, leaving Kay to finish with Marinaccio.

Oops! Honest mistake between old friends. Seems like the type of mild annoyance you'd get over mere seconds later. But, nah, according to Carton ... that's a blood feud, baby!

Yankees voices John Sterling, Michael Kay (two adults) are probably not in a feud after the Welcome Dinner

Evan Roberts, Carton's fellow WFAN host, reportedly exclaimed, "Oh, wow!" at the time of the incident. If that isn't evidence enough for you that this mundane mixup was completely shocking, Carton piled on.

Per Carton:

Livid. I was told [Kay] was livid. Ticked off beyond belief. John Sterling stole Aaron Judge from me. He took the words out of my mouth. … So now apparently John Sterling and Michael Kay are not on speaking terms. There is a major falling from this because the belief is … obviously John did this on purpose.

There you have it. Take it from the Most Believable Man in Sports Radio, Craig Carton. This qualifies as a major falling out, and a good use of everyone's time.

In response, I will now invent a blood feud of my own. Uh ... Keith Hernandez hates, uh ... Elizabeth Hasselbeck from The View? They're feuding. Big-time feud. But you didn't hear it from me...