3 absurd Giancarlo Stanton trade packages to end Yankees offseason malaise

(You know, other than the whole 'Juan Soto' thing)
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Stanton to the Giants for Some Outfielders We've Discussed Previously

Look. You've got salaries. We've got salaries. Could we, uh, hypothetically ... trade salaries?

The Yankees would need Stanton to backtrack on his 2017 decision not to approve a trade to San Francisco, which would only happen if 2024 is so unpleasant in New York that he asks out rather than get squeezed out. And 2024 will only be unpleasant in New York if Stanton's performance is poor, and the Giants wouldn't want him in that case, and ... yeah. We know.

But the Giants have struggled to attract premiere free agents in recent years, and the outfielders they have signed haven't exactly panned out. This would represent a chance for the Yankees to do a little Budgetary Arson (no Judgment) on San Francisco's bloated payroll.

Stanton, Jorbit Vivas, and the 10-to-15-range Yankees prospect of your choosing in exchange for Michael Conforto's $18 million and Robbie Ray's future. The Giants acted as a weigh station for Ray's deal, which has now paid off; the left-hander has a clearer path to success in the Bronx (through 2026) than Stanton does, and his money would be less of an anchor in a rotation fraught with uncertainty, rather than a lineup that suddenly features surplus outfield talent (and could add a long-term DH type in Soto quite soon).

Ray's money makes this too absurd for you? Fine, but you clicked the wrong article. Take it out, force the Yankees to pay 40% of Stanton's remaining money, and you've got yourself a (smaller) deal.

But, again, not in the real world. Never in the real world.