3 absurd Giancarlo Stanton trade packages to end Yankees offseason malaise

(You know, other than the whole 'Juan Soto' thing)
Fontainebleau Las Vegas Grand Opening
Fontainebleau Las Vegas Grand Opening / Ethan Miller/GettyImages
2 of 3

Stanton to the Angels to Help Arte Moreno Sleep at Night

Ok. We know we said these packages would be absurd, but ... Anaheim is the only realistic trade destination for Stanton as he ages. Arte Moreno is the only owner who might buy into the idea of a Stanton ticket sales bump. California is the only destination Stanton might approve a trade to.

This will not happen. But the percentages are around 8-10% instead of hanging in the negatives.

In order to ship Stanton to Moreno, the Yankees might have to take the Angels' owner out to a long, luxurious Italian dinner, make sure he's very sleepy, then whisper the full amount remaining of the slugger's contract, just to make sure it's communicated (but not recalled). Think of the late Pujols-ian possibilities, though! A retirement tour! A 500 (or possibly even 600...) home run chase! Protection for Mike Trout (in theory!). The possibilities are endless, if you believe.

Just send Mickey Moniak and rookie ball shortstop (and MLB Pipeline's No. 13 Angels prospect in 2023) Felix Morrobel our way and reap the rewards.