3 absurd Giancarlo Stanton trade packages to end Yankees offseason malaise

CAUTION. These Yankees Giancarlo Stanton trade packages are white hot to the touch. They will not be completed on this earth, the earth that we live in, in the year 2024. Stanton is owed too much money and is coming off too low a valley to be exchanged for goods and services. If the Yankees are left underwhelmed by Stanton's bodily transformation after '24, there's a slight chance they finally decide to eat cash for the final three years of his deal and send him into free agency.

But ... if Stanton returns with a semi-vengeance to begin 2024 ... and sustains it until the trade deadline ... there's at least a minute chance that some star-hunting team wants to match troublesome salaries and tie some prospects to the package and tango with the devil.

In all honesty, the solution to the Yankees' struggle to find playing time for Stanton moving forward (in a world where they extend Juan Soto) is probably a depressing one. He likely gets injured, and cannot complete his duty as scheduled.

But ... in this fantasy ... to awaken a slumbering offseason in which the Yankees have reached their budgetary limits, save for possibly one more reliever ... it's our goal to find a different solution. We found three.

3 absurd Giancarlo Stanton trade packages Yankees could pursue in alternate universe

Stanton to the Cardinals for an Iffy Contract and a Cashman Dream

The Yankees have always desired Dylan Carlson, right? But he's always felt, to the fanbase at large, like an underwhelming acquisition resting mostly on unrealized potential. So why not, instead of surrendering something you believe to be desirable in order to nab Cashman's preferred target, weave him into a Stanton package instead?

In this trade -- again, absurd, this is absurd -- 3.5-4 years of Stanton's contract head to the Cardinals, though the Yankees agree to absorb a percentage. The Yankees then attach an intriguing prospect with unrealized future value -- Brando Mayea? Henry Lalane? -- in exchange for Carlson and Steven Matz, along with the full scope of Matz's remaining salary.

That'd be $12.5 million on the payroll this year and next (but not in the two years after that when Stanton will also be under contract). Matz posted a 3.86 ERA in 2023, but in all honesty, the Yankees would've taken him here if he'd been coming off his 5.25 mark in 2022, too. This is a matter of salary, not of belief in the player.

Sure was an absurd conglomeration of words that preceded this sentence, right? Hey, we hear you. If anything, this is an exercise to prove just how difficult it will be to trade Stanton (and it's only possible if he bounces back somewhat this season). And remember: Stanton has to head nod at any proposed deal in order to get it across the finish line!

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