Padres' latest trade deadline roster shuffles were an absolute Yankees fever dream

The San Diego Padres are not escaping the West Coast Yankees allegations anytime soon — and, frankly, it might come in handy for New Yorkers seeking a rooting interest this October, as the Yankees flatline and the Pads move forward. Not sure having a GM with as much aggression as AJ Preller would work in New York, but ... it sure would be interesting to find out!

Though Brian Cashman did solid work patching up a full bullpen's worth of holes this deadline, Preller pulled off the summer's masterstroke by adding Mason Miller, a more electric pitcher than anyone who headed to the Yankees. No prospects were hugged. No stones were left unturned.

The Padres' roster turnover hardly stopped there, with former Yankee JP Sears and Orioles ex-pats Ryan O'Hearn and Ramón Laureano also heading west. Given the amount of familiar faces in new places that Preller had chaotically created, San Diego had to make a number of roster moves to make the math work.

Each and every one of those roster moves felt like a Yankees alternate universe, starting with Friday night's two-spot clearance. Goodbye, Ron Marinaccio! See you, Tyler Wade! Wait ... both of them?!

Former Yankees Ron Marinaccio, Tyler Wade among Padres' wild roster shuffles

If you'd lost track of Marinaccio in recent years, we don't blame you, but he's currently sitting on 2 2/3 clean innings with four Ks this season — worth a sterling 0.1 bWAR! He'll now head back to El Paso and continue to toil, while Wade will hit the open market (don't even think about it, don't sour on Jose Caballero already).

But the fun didn't stop there! On Sunday, San Diego had to accommodate ... midseason rental Nestor Cortes Jr., who'll make his Pads debut this week! The corresponding move there was Randy Vásquez, one of four Yankees pitchers who was sent to San Diego in the Juan Soto trade.

Sadly, both Jhony Brito and Drew Thorpe (on the White Sox now) are both rehabbing on the 60-Day IL. Michael King, though injured, should be returning soon — and, knowing what we know now, will probably require a former Yankee's DFA as the corresponding move. The odds are clearly skewed in one direction.

And Vásquez? He just does not strike anyone out — 55 in 107 2/3 innings this season!!! — but he's been starkly solid otherwise, soaking up innings with a 3.93 ERA. Now, he and Marinaccio can scheme together on how to get back up there in El Paso (and might even hope Cortes Jr. stumbles in an odd bit of Yankees synergy).

In conclusion, go Padres, and the Yankees aren't real.