John Sterling calls out Yankees for abysmal baserunning in hilarious fashion

Legendary New York Yankees announcer John Sterling emerged from his April retirement to call the team's 2024 playoff run. And don't worry -- the time away from the game has only further decimated his filter.

In the sixth inning of Game 2 of the ALCS against the Cleveland Guardians, two of the three outs the Yankees made came on the basepaths. The first was the worst and the second was the best, but only by default.

Nursing a 3-2 lead as calmly as a new mother in a tornado, the Yankees received a gift to begin the frame, with Jazz Chisholm rubbing his eyes, then socking an opposite-field double. Anthony Volpe then worked a hard-fought walk, raising immediate fears about a potential Anthony Rizzo double play ball (once Volpe failed to get the bunt down).

But these Yankees don't just make their fans skeptical because they excel at the basics of quashing momentum. In fact, they innovate on the form daily, and Chisholm came up with the most creative way possible to record an out when he got fooled by ... standing, picked off before he could come to his senses. The Yankees challenged the play in order to make him feel better. It didn't work.

Thankfully, Rizzo picked him up -- though it should've been a 5-2 lead with Chisholm scoring, Rizzo's ringing double still provided an additional tally. That's not the Sterling call we're replaying here, though. The Yankees' veteran first baseman also got caught in no-man's land on a ball that rolled away from catcher Austin Hedges, leaving Sterling only to wonder who was sneaking airplane bottles into the dugout.

Yankees announcer John Sterling roasts Anthony Rizzo, Jazz Chisholm for "drunk" baseball

Next up on the hit list? Whatever's going on with Chisholm's eyes. The man can't see! He's rubbing between every pitch! Figure it out!

Apparently, Sterling has watched enough drunk baseball over the years to know it when he sees it. He's old enough to know that this bizarre Yankees team has the confidence of a straggler headed home from the bar at 4 a.m. with nothing to lose, chasing another pint. Unfortunately, they also have the coordination of said straggler.

And yet, they're two wins away from an American League pennant (and another chance to actually get drunk). Make it make sense. Only Sterling can.