Former Yankee we knew would torture us with Red Sox is doing impossible things

Look, not to jump up and down and wave my arms around and scream about how certain things are not fair, but ... Jahmai Jones being this good on the Boston Red Sox out of literal nowhere is not fair. An eight-year gap between World Series isn't long enough for you to get away with tripping into nonsense like this. This is 80-year-drought-type magic. Cleveland fans are seething.

When the Sox picked up Jones, a former Yankees 26th man and Aaron Judge's good friend, from the Tigers in mid-July, he was in the midst of an impossibly bad year coming off a quite good one as a righty who mashes lefties off the bench. Through midsummer, he'd subtracted 1.2 bWAR from his Detroit team in just 105 plate appearances, hitting .137 with a .440 OPS. Given the specialization of his role, it's almost impossible to play that poorly with his skill set. Jones, essentially, walked up to the plate 105 times and said, "Instead of batting, I will now suck bWAR off our roster with a hose and funnel."

And then he walked to Boston, where he has done a job that can only be described as "impossible".

In just 29 plate appearances, he has already added 0.8 bWAR, nearly erasing the disastrous first 105 in a blink. He is batting .520 with an OPS of 1.586. In a small sample, that's a 340 OPS+ in a world where 100 is average. No man is this good. No man has ever been better. This is Jahmai Jones.

We knew Jones would be a useful piece in Boston and a thorn in our side. We did not know he would have the best first month with the Boston Red Sox that any man on earth has ever had. And that is the 2026 Red Sox promise. They have taken the franchise's most annoying traits and built on them exponentially to the point where it's fair to question whether or not we are still living on earth.

Wait, sorry, the Yankees had Jahmai Jones? Why didn't he hit .520 with us?

Jones played 33 games and batted 47 times for the 2024 New York Yankees, coming off silent stints in Baltimore and Milwaukee after being an Angels top prospect. It was kind of remarkable he persisted as long as he did on such a star-studded roster, but he was a glue guy, and the Yankees did all they could to resist his inevitable DFA until they absolutely had to.

Still ... as a roster favorite, he was hitting .238 with a .685 OPS and we considered that pretty good! This blistering stint in Boston is absolutely blinding. The Sox come into Yankee Stadium next weekend — who wants to bet Jones hits a few 100 MPH scorchers off Carlos Rodón?

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