ESPN has funniest headline ever after Yankees demolish Nestor Cortes, ruin homecoming

On Saturday, some New York Yankees fans were bracing for the worst. Former pitcher Nestor Cortes was taking the mound for the Milwaukee Brewers, and everybody knows how former players perform against the Yankees. It rarely ever goes well for New York.

But perhaps the tides are turning. In a situation many thought could be awkward for the Yankees, it was actually the complete opposite (and much worse) for Cortes, who allowed eight earned runs on six hits and five walks in just two innings pitched. He surrendered five home runs and threw just 33 strikes out of his 64 pitches. It was nothing short of a diaster, as the Yanks went on to win 20-9.

It further plunged Cortes into a perilous mental state, or at least we'd imagine so. After missing over a month from September until the start of the World Series last year, Cortes was called upon to face the three best hitters on the Dodgers in Game 1 after over 30 days without throwing a pitch. He surrendered a walk-off grand slam to Freddie Freeman which essentially ended the Fall Classic right then and there.

It wasn't entirely Cortes' fault. Manager Aaron Boone should've never put him in that situation. But the front office felt otherwise about a month later, wasting no time in the offseason by shipping the left-hander to Milwaukee in exchange for closer Devin Williams. Additionally, Cortes didn't help his case with his offseason comments about the World Series.

If we wanted to have another light laugh with regards to what happened Saturday, ESPN ran an objectively hilarious headline after the Yankees demolished the Brewers.

"Nestor Cortes on Yankee Stadium return: 'Didn't go the way I planned'"

Ya don't say?! You didn't plan for one of the worst starts in MLB history? You didn't plan to get absolutely shelled in front of your former home crowd that once considered you a fan favorite? OK, we're done joking. That was admittedly rough for Cortes and it's safe to say no Yankees fan wished that upon him.

It did, however, justify the Yankees' decision to let him go. Though Cortes' exciting All-Star campaign in 2022 was among the best feel-good stories in the league, injuries held him back in a major way the following two seasons. Not to mention, though Cortes emerged as a very productive pitcher, he frequently held himself to an unattainable standard, loudly expressing discontent every time he surrendered a hit or a run the last couple years. It became rather exhausting, considering he was nothing more than a back-end starter.

Props to him, though, for expecting more out of himself. In the end, it all fell apart in New York, as it usually does with these types of non-essential players. Yankees fans will send their best to Cortes the rest of the way, but Saturday marked the official end to any discussions regarding who won this offseason trade.