Juan Soto's Instagram post is about to cause Steve Cohen's wife to unfollow him in a fit of rage.
Soto, purportedly after absorbing initial offers this week from the Yankees, Mets, Red Sox, Blue Jays, and Dodgers, posted a clear troll attempt on Tuesday morning. The video, featuring him seated in front of a fleet of microphones, hinted at a "decision" being made a la LeBron James in 2010.
Everyone and their mother knew at first blush that some sort of advertisement was en route, and that Soto wasn't actually about to drop a bomb. Predictable, the decision he was announcing involved the choice to join ... Team Celsius, aligning himself with his energy drink of choice.
Great. Fine. Yes. All in good fun. But ... knowing how much is at stake this offseason ... it seems kind of silly to have Soto wearing Yankees colors in the video. Navy blue blazer. White button down. Navy-and-white "Celsius" hat.
Clearly, this is all a big goof, but also ... Jasson Dominguez picked up what we're putting down here, so in addition to being a complete joke, it's also an ironclad fact? Sorry, we don't make the rules.
Free agent Juan Soto joins Team Celsius, wears Yankees colors
If you're digging through Soto's likes and spying on his IG follows like they're gospel, you have to admit it's a little odd he'd drop so many Yankees colorways in this video while otherwise sworn to secrecy. If you don't admit that, you're lying to yourself. It's ok.
This is all in good fun, but if Mets trolls are going to be aggressive about breadcrumbs they baked themselves, then at least let us get in on the action, too.
Unless Team Celsius fulfilled Soto's request for a 15-year, $700 million deal, then he's probably still on the market, despite the press release's announcement that "Soto and CELSIUS will create unique opportunities to engage with fans, fostering a sense of community and cultivating deeper connections with consumers."
According to additional buzz, the Red Sox may or may not have bumped their initial offer, and the Yankees' Plan B appears to include every other free agent under the sun. If things keep trending in this direction, the Yankees might have to add Aaron Judge's Prime Hydration to their payroll just to keep up.