The good news about MLB.com’s predictions for the next 10 World Series matchups (which are set in stone and written entirely unironically, definitely, without a doubt)? They’ve given the Yankees a championship, something this starving fan base hasn’t experienced since 2009.
The bad news? Only a single title won’t satiate these hounds, and the other details of the “decade” MLB.com’s Will Leitch has laid out seem extremely unpleasant.
According to Leitch, the Yankees will be winning the World Series in … 2027, topping the Chicago Cubs! That’s only five years down the road, and the fanciful web Leitch spins involves Anthony Volpe’s dominance and some free-agent dingers from Vlad Guerrero Jr. after a (gasp) season without a postseason in 2026 (mark your calendars and schedule your angry tweets now).
Unfortunately, Leitch’s visions of the future involve further embarrassment for the Yankees before the franchise’s title dreams are realized (because of course they do).
Per MLB.com’s oracle, the same thing that keeps happening happens again in 2025, when the Yankees’ offseason triumph over the Giants in the Aaron Judge contract sweepstakes is reversed and driven back into the Bombers’ hearts like a stake.
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According to the predictive tissue of this fanciful article, Juan Soto takes Judge’s “spot” in right field with the Giants and immediately leads San Francisco to a 2025 World Series title over the Yankees, who’ve lost Judge to injury for the third straight campaign. Yay. So witty I forgot to drink charcoal.
Brian Sabean, do something! Anything!
The only thing missing from this assessment is a stunning 2024 ALCS defeat at the hands of the Red Sox, preceding Judge’s third injury-marred season (where the Yankees supposedly finish 84-78 before rattling off an underdog story) and a San Franciscan cucking.
Oh, but don’t forget about those plucky Red Sox! Leitch has them equaling the Yankees’ titles over the next decade, nabbing a win in 2031 over the Brewers. Zero factual basis behind it, and yet reading that sentence still gives you the willies. The power this franchise holds over us, I swear to God.
One World Series win before 2033 would certainly be better than another decade-long shutout, but this prediction involves the Yankees’ current core crumbling, playing underwhelming season after underwhelming season, and then suddenly tripping past the upstart Cubs after another year where mostly everything has gone wrong. That wouldn’t be the most satisfying trajectory for this franchise, to say the least.
It’d still be better than the Blue Jays and Rays’ journeys, though. Leitch has Toronto losing this year’s World Series, then disappearing forever, and doesn’t mention Tampa Bay once. Damn. Rest in peace to the Stable of Guys Era.