Yankees chose worst possible player to ring in New Year on 2023 team calendar

It’s bad enough that Josh Donaldson is the overwhelming favorite to be the Yankees third baseman in 2023, according to Brian Cashman’s recent musings. But couldn’t they at least bury him further down in their team calendar? Or, better yet, not feature him at all?

Whether Donaldson “still has game” or not, his 2022 season was full of regression, and his bat was slowed to the point of melting by the time October rolled around. His defense remained top notch throughout the season, but when the Yankees took on his prohibitive salary (and paved a pathway for the Twins to sign Carlos Correa), they surely assumed his sky-high exit velocities portended better results.

Instead, New York was left holding the bag, earning a front row seat to the most unsightly portion of Donaldson’s aging curve. The grand slam against the Rays was nice, and the “We’re Back!” exaltation briefly inspired confidence, but for the most part, Donaldson’s 2022 was representative of the Yankees’ failings (and oh, right, remember when he disrupted chemistry and created controversy against the White Sox?).

In terms of which Yankee fans least want to be reminded of after turning over a new leaf in the new year, it’s a close contest between Donaldson and Hicks, the team’s two payroll anchors.

Guess who the Bombers chose to represent the upcoming season. A returning, smiling Aaron Judge? His pal Anthony Rizzo? A photoshopped Carlos Rodón? Nah. 0-3, like a Donaldson Day Game.

Josh Donaldson is awful way for Yankees fans to ring in the New Year

No better time than the present to come up with the worst possible 2023 calendar for Yankees fans:

JANUARY: Josh Donaldson

FEBRUARY: Aaron Hicks

MARCH: Aaron Hicks and Josh Donaldson running into each other

APRIL: Jacoby Ellsbury

MAY: Chris Carter

BACK TO MARCH (BECAUSE TIME WITH THESE GUYS FELT ENDLESS): Stephen Drew

JUNE: Esteban Loaiza

JULY: Javier Vázquez

AUGUST: Aaron Hicks and Josh Donaldson barbecuing Chad Green’s elbow

SEPTEMBER: Javier Vázquez the f***ing SECOND time the Yankees acquired him

OCTOBER: Josh Donaldson batting in the postseason while Carlos Correa sits at home by a warm fire

NOVEMBER: Ellsbury’s Medicals from Before His 2013 Signing (Um…where’s the shoulder?)

DECEMBER: Kevin Brown

Here’s hoping 2023 will be a season filled with Carlos Rodón strikeouts, rotation/bullpen dominance, Aaron Judge history, and Gleyber’s clutch gene returning. Ideally, January is the season’s most irrelevant month, represented by its most irrelevant player.