Yankees announce 4-year Brian Cashman deal, get ratioed spectacularly

TORONTO, ON - MARCH 30: General manager Brian Cashman of the New York Yankees and manager Aaron Boone #17 look on during batting practice before the start of MLB game action against the Toronto Blue Jays at Rogers Centre on March 30, 2018 in Toronto, Canada. (Photo by Tom Szczerbowski/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Aaron Boone;Brian Cashman
TORONTO, ON - MARCH 30: General manager Brian Cashman of the New York Yankees and manager Aaron Boone #17 look on during batting practice before the start of MLB game action against the Toronto Blue Jays at Rogers Centre on March 30, 2018 in Toronto, Canada. (Photo by Tom Szczerbowski/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Aaron Boone;Brian Cashman /
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The New York Yankees have heard your cries for Aaron Judge! They have read the chaos-filled room at the Winter Meetings! And they would like to use this whirring blur to announce to you that Brian Cashman will not only be manning the GM position for the remainder of this offseason, but would in fact be returning on a four-year deal.

Surely (clears throat) the decision to put this news out into the world went over well.

Delusional fans spent the immediate aftermath of the ALCS hoping for a change in leadership, but it became clear fairly quickly that the Yankees intended to run it back with Aaron Boone and Brian Cashman at the helm. Boone was quickly given a confidence vote from Hal Steinbrenner; Cashman wasn’t, but the longtime GM has been operating without a contract under the assumption he’d get one soon enough.

Cash being back wasn’t a shocker for Yankee fans — or shouldn’t have been. Four years of Cash? Mildly surprising.

The decision to announce his new deal now, in the heat of the Aaron Judge chase, when it could’ve easily been buried weeks later considering everyone knew it was coming? Downright foolish, if Judge doesn’t re-sign this week.

Either the Yankees know something’s coming, or they are very, very stupid. Guess which option the Twitter repliers picked?

Yankees roasted to hell for announcing new Brian Cashman four-year contract

Cashman’s been handling business as usual all offseason long. This was inevitable.

But it didn’t stop us from feeling like clowns for hoping for a change. Just got to put on a brave face.

A face so brave it couldn’t possibly weasel out of the Aaron Judge bidding. Right? …Right?

If Cashman sways Hal from paying what it’ll take to secure Judge’s services long-term, trust us … this ratio can still get much worse.

Maybe Cashman is poised to be the Andrew Benintendi replacement?

Turn back that clock! Just like the Yankees have been trying to do with most post-2013 signings.

Imagine having your Yankees Twitter notifications on — this week specifically — and getting fed a Cashman graphic? More depressing than learning Troy Tulowitzki was coming to the Bronx.

And, predictably, here come the Sox fans:

Pretty telling that the mentions are full of Yankee fans giving blank stares and Red Sox/Astros fans dancing in circles popping off sparklers.

Cashman has a lot of important work to do this week to ensure this tweet isn’t historically tone deaf. Best we can offer you is “normal-grade annoying.”