NSFW Yankees fan dad watching Joey Gallo vs Edwin Diaz is all of us
The predictable New York Yankees lost a predictable game to the New York Mets on Tuesday night that culminated with one of the all-time most predictable moments in recent MLB history: a completely lost Joey Gallo striking out against a born-anew Edwin Diaz to end the eighth inning.
Who saw that coming? Every man with a white tank top in the tri-state area.
While your mind might’ve been boggled by removing the light-hitting, contact-creating Isiah Kiner-Falefa as the tying run, the move could’ve made sense in an alternate universe where Aaron Boone’s light-tower power option was anyone other than Gallo.
As is, in a world where Gallo exists and is on the Yankees roster, the result was painfully clear before the at-bat even began.
The right-fielder whiffed and sent the Yanks reeling to the ninth, exactly as this Italian father being live-streamed by his son predicted to his friend on the phone. This man’s NSFW rant, narrating Gallo’s pathetic plunge into the dirt with two strikes, sounds exactly like the beating heart that exists inside every Yankee fan, crying, “This team STINKS!” no matter how many games over .500 they are.
Yankees fan watching Joey Gallo face Edwin Diaz is all of us
You know how badly you have to play to be named Joey Gallo and have this guy hate you?
For all our attempts to keep everyone calm, though, Gallo vs. Diaz was a painfully obvious misstep after Boone backed himself into a corner. The percentage chance of a blast to right, with all the pressure of the world on Gallo’s shoulders, was like an Alaskan winter: below zero.
In the brutal heat of a New York summer, this dad could barely contain the expletives once he realized what he’d spent his night with his son watching. All these hours invested, all these summer months checking scores and sneaking glances at televisions in bars … for this. For Gallo against the premier strikeout artist in the National League. On purpose.
The chips used in last summer’s Gallo trade had to go somewhere, or the Yankees risked losing them for free when it came time for the Rule 5 Draft (which was ultimately, uh, canceled).
That said, the right fielder hasn’t been a viable option for months, and he absorbed the most important at-bat of Tuesday’s showcase Subway Series game. Who was the stunad who came up with that?