Chants to replace ‘Yankees Suck!’ at Fenway Park while Sox are losing to Reds

In case you opted out of watching the Boston Red Sox on Tuesday night while the New York Yankees were busy smacking the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim 9-1, the boys from Beantown put the hurt on the last-place — nah, just kidding, they struggled to hit the Reds just like they struggled to hit the Orioles before them. Turns out teams have ups and downs over the course of a long season, and a four-game sweep over the Mariners didn’t ensure a World Series. Who knew?

That offensive tomfoolery didn’t stop tipsy Red Sox fans from focusing on something else during the game, though: their Celtics, who are in the NBA Fin — nah, just kidding again. It was the Yankees! The first-place Yankees. That’s what those never-satisfied maroons cared about.

Late in Tuesday’s game, while facing a 1-0 deficit to the NL Central’s best (worst), Sox fans got a “Yankees Suck!” chant going from 10.5 games behind the Bombers in the AL East standings.

At least those who cover the team had the wherewithal to tweet about it instead of pretending like their quaint little fan base is beyond reproach.

Luckily for those lost souls still stuck in the bowels of Fenway, I have some advice for you: come up with some different chants that are Yankees-proof so that you can use them when the Yankees are out of town!

Trust me. You can do better. Some of you can do better. At least three or four of the millions of you can do better.

Helpful tips for chanting something else other than ‘Yankees Suck!’ while the Red Sox are having a meltdown

If you find yourself in the Fenway Park bleachers while the Sox are losing, and you need to yell something, feel free to borrow some from my list, or come up with your own! But remember: the Yankees aren’t there, and they can’t hear you or hurt you:

“Let’s Go Celtics!”

“Pay Xander! Pay Xander!”

“Pay Devers! Pay Devers!”

“Pay Mookie Several Years Ago!”

“F*** Altuve, Even Though We Hired His Cheating Manager/Ringleader!”

“Fire Sale! Fire Sale!”

“Remember Fear the Beard?”

“Wait, Do *We* Suck? Wait, Do *We* Suck?”

“F*** Altuve, Even Though We Rehired His Cheating Manager/Ringleader Again After Firing Him for Cheating!”

“19-18 (The Last Time We Did it Without Steroids, Something We Always Try to Use to Discredit the Yankees)!”

“Papi, Come Back! Papi, Come Back!”

“Dugout Rats! Dugout Rats!”

“Don Or-Sill-O! Don Or-Sill-O!”

“Nothing Bad Ever Happens to Us, So We Should Just Stop Whining and Wait a Week!”

Hey, how’d that game end, by the way? The Sox were losing 1-0 at the time of the chants, yeah, yeah, but surely they battled back to beat the Reds, a team with one of the two worst records in baseball at the time?

Oh.

We’re actually being told Trevor Story struck out with the tying run on third and winning run on first to end a 2-1 loss to the Cincinnati Reds. Closer Tony Santillan lowered his ERA to 4.67 with the whiff. That’s not what it said in the manual.

Bummer. Maybe spin that into a chant?

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