For years, New York Yankees Hall of Famer Goose Gossage would show up to Spring Training, complain about how things weren’t as good as the “GOOD OLD DAYS” (his days), then saunter on back to his sun-baked hut.
Eventually, this process got so bothersome and attention-grabbing that the Yankees stopped inviting Gossage to instruct anyone at their camp, for fear he would simply start saying stuff. Perhaps that’s why, amid all the team’s retired numbers, Gossage’s Hall of Fame No. 54 remains in circulation.
Did the Yankees disinviting Gossage nip this issue in the bud, though? On the contrary!
Instead of speaking from Tampa, he began to speak from wherever, whenever, including Brian Cashman and Yankee management in his updated diatribes, as the World Series drought stretched on.
Somehow, somebody wrangled Gossage (subscription required) and got him to speak this week — which is stunning, because he typically hates when national media outlets publish him during the MLB Lockout. He hates it so much. Hey, would anyone like to write about that? How much he hates attention?!
This time around, Gossage’s unique brand of outdated enthusiasm did bring us a few expressions that should powerfully hit home with Yankee fans — and all baseball fans — and we should be at least a little bit thankful for the momentary distraction.
Yankees Hall of Famer Goose Gossage wants to punch Rob Manfred, throw Brian Cashman in a trash can.
Man, why is Gossage being so coy? Why won’t he just tell us how he really feels?!
In case you thought Gossage’s quote about Manfred was worded normally — hey, who among us hasn’t wanted to punch the Commish on occasion? — we must assure you that it was not.
"“I hate that mother******”…. I may punch Rob Manfred right in the (expletive) nose and spatter his (expletive) nose all over his (expletive) face right in the lobby of your hotel.”"
My hotel? Oh, my stars!
As for Cashman, we can’t click the story without a subscription (the above quote was leaked on Twitter by USA Today). We assume Gossage wants him in a trash can because of his squandering of assets? Because he spends, but not enough? Because he can’t get this once-proud franchise over the hump?
Because hanging out in a trash can would be a more interesting charitable endeavor than sleeping on the street or rappelling a building while fighting the Grinch?
I can’t tell you. I can’t tell you much about Goose Gossage, who honestly might be a cardboard cutout with a voicebox attached at this point.
What I can tell you is that, at Gossage’s Cooperstown induction ceremony, on a white-hot Sunday back in 2008, I sat next to two of the drunkest middle-aged men on God’s green earth, who shouted over every non-Gossage speech, “Where’s da GOOSE?!” like a back-of-the-throat belch.
And that sound, baked into my memory, carries more weight than anything Gossage said on Tuesday.