3 Yankees-Aroldis Chapman trade destinations before 2022

2. Houston Astros

You know he’d kick our ass with the H-and-a-Star on his hat. You simply know he would kick our ass.

So come on, Houston! Don’t you want to see how good this could be? You already did the Roberto Osuna thing, so we know you have no moral compass in this department.

This is probably the stadium Chapman sees when he closes his eyes every night, as well as what the devil would theoretically have waiting for him in the afterlife, but if he chooses it call it home, he’ll be atop the bullpen pecking order, knocking Ryan Pressly down to a setup role that probably suits him better anyway.

Kendall Graveman, who the ‘Stros famously traded for last season from within the division, is in Chicago now. That means the famously thin bullpen that hung on for dear life throughout the 2021 World Series is now even thinner and more of a patchwork operation.

It might take a serious freezeout to get Chapman to agree to leave the Yankees for the Lone Star State, but Brian Cashman would probably have a willing and kooky partner in crime here (emphasis on the literal crime) if he can hold up his side of the bargain.

Move his locker next to Jordan Montgomery’s. Change the locks on the bullpen door. Change Loaisiga’s intro music to Rage Against the Machine and photoshop his face over Chapman’s on the flame graphics. Whatever it takes.

And, hey, if Chapman still says no, the Yankees have another solid bullpen arm who hates Houston in Green who might be worth a conversation.