3 players most likely to become Yankee Killers in 2022

We’ve seen it before. We will absolutely see it again. Some also-ran at the dish or on the mound who the rest of the league is able to handle with ease buzz-sawing the New York Yankees in crucial moments.

More often than not, these men wear Boston Red Sox and Tampa Bay Rays jerseys — and then Boston fans have the audacity to complain about Gio Urshela’s “breakout” being unearned. The absolute audacity.

With the lockout firmly in place (most likely through January and beyond), the time is ripe to crunch the numbers, analyze the splits, and then absolutely tear your hair out wandering around the room in pre-anger about these players popping off unexpectedly (and also completely expectedly).

Those are the breaks, right? Well, they shouldn’t be. But they are.

Once these three emerge as Yankee Killers — oh, and believe us, they will! — they’ll join the hallowed halls including:

• Bill Selby, who once hit a walk-off grand slam against Mariano Rivera
• Marco Scutaro, who got Rivera constantly with the Oakland A’s, Toronto Blue Jays, and (duh!) Boston Red Sox
• Bill Mueller (screw you, dude)
• Matt Joyce
• Tony Kemp
• Danny Jansen
• José Iglesias
• Randal Grichuk
• And, of course, the worst player of them all, Francisco Lindor

Frankly, we can’t wait for their induction into CoopersFrown. Bring these losers on!

These 3 random players will kill the New York Yankees in 2022.

3. Kevin Plawecki

Kevin already did quite well at this task with a small sample size in 2021. Now, let’s see what he can do with a fuller slate of games! Or, let’s not. Either way.

Last season, Plawecki — the former Mets and Indians backup turned Red Sox backstop — hit .287 on the season in part-time duty, which is more than respectable for an ancillary part of the offense. Kyle Higashioka, the Yankees’ backup, didn’t come anywhere close to matching that production, and he wasn’t even half-bad!

Against the Yankees, though? Plawecki mashed, hitting .313 in 16 at-bats (four starts, seven games) with a stupid small sample size .951 OPS. Delightful.

In even worse news for the Bombers, it seems like current Sox starter Christian Vázquez’s time with the team might be nearing an end. Vázquez backslid significantly at the dish last year, and is entering the final season of a four-year, $20.3 million contract. Before the break in action, Boston tried to add Jacob Stallings in a trade, which surely would’ve led to Vázquez’s non-tender if a deal hadn’t fallen through.

At this point, if the Sox cut costs with their incumbent, it probably won’t be because of a flashy new import; they’ll likely just roll with a platoon of Plawecki and rookie Connor Wong, acquired in the Mookie Betts trade. If that goes down, look for Plawecki to double that number of starts against the Yankees, while also doubling that OPS to an impossible 1.800.

1. Corey Kluber

It’s time for Michael Wacha to pass his Rays torch on to a new thorn in the Yankees’ side.

What’s that? Wacha’s staying in the division, too? He’s simply going to the Red Sox? Joy.

I know it’s reductive at this point to shrug in the general direction of the Rays’ underwhelming pitching moves and simply say, “Eh, it’ll work out,” but you know what? It usually does! And mostly against the Bombers.

Wacha was otherwise a disaster last season (5.05 ERA after a 6.62 mark with the Mets the year prior), but against New York? 1.66 ERA and 25 Ks in 21.2 innings pitched, which sounds like a “small sample size,” but is actually relatively significant compared to his overall body of work last year (124.2 innings in total, about 1/6 of his season!).

We wish him well in Boston — well, no we don’t, but we’re going to get his absolute best, regardless of what we wish. Now, it’s time to turn that Incensed Wacha Energy on Corey Kluber.

Outside of a brief stretch of relevance in May capped by a no-hitter against the Texas Rangers, Kluber did not look like his old self. He didn’t provide much length; he was typically good for four innings and two or three earned runs per start. He was prone to a one-inning implosion. He was rarely even on the mound. It was the kind of calculated and expensive risk the Yankees are supposed to be able to absorb, except then they spent a good deal of the rest of the offseason crying about how his cost was un-absorbable. Oops!

Now, he’s a Ray. We have no reason to believe he’s healthy and will make any sort of return to relevance other than the preceding sentence. I’ll write it again. He’s a Ray.

If he were a Twin, we wouldn’t be predicting this whatsoever, nor a White Sox, Guardian, or Tiger. Since he’s wearing that damn TB, he’ll be dynamite AND available. And you all knew it as soon as the news broke, too.

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