Jameson Taillon has perfect (and scared) reaction to new Yankees signing

As if Jameson Taillon’s offseason injury rehab wasn’t already daunting enough, the Yankees went and spooked the right-hander further on Monday.

Though, in a way, they also helped lower his ERA significantly. You’re welcome.

While seemingly every semi-contender in baseball was busy making massive moves to hop the line into the playoff field (the Mets and Max Scherzer, the Mariners and Robbie Ray, the Rangers and everyone else…), the Yanks made a minuscule move that coincided with the finalization of the Scherzer deal.

Yes, they signed shortstop Jose Peraza to a minor-league contract. Peraza was decent with the 2020 Red Sox, which seems like reason enough to sign him until you remember … that team was terrible. Both he and Kevin Pillar were also 2020 Sox and 2021 Mets … surely, you see where this is going.

While the rest of us either shrugged off the Peraza deal or let it infuriate us as a symbolic stand-in for inactivity, Taillon had a different take on the addition.

In a reply to the Talkin’ Yanks account, Taillon begged us to check out Peraza’s splits against him, which are nasty enough to make the righty cower in fear, even during intra-squad games.

Yankees righty Jameson Taillon gets wrecked by SS Jose Peraza.

Is it a good or bad omen to have an opposing hitter you’re terrified of around the complex at all times? Does Taillon feel more relieved that he’s off the market, or more spooked that he’s now in his own backyard, and could sneak up behind him at any moment?

Once you look up the numbers for yourself, it becomes plainly obvious why Taillon wanted this guy as far out of his life as possible.

Brainstorm a possible slash line for this below-average hitter (hasn’t had an OPS+ higher than 102 … ever, for any length of season). We guarantee you the real thing is worse.

Prime Bonds! WTF!

Peraza is more likely to be an Andrew Velazquez replacement than he is a starting shortstop (or maybe he’s Andrelton Simmons’ backup?), and if we see him on the roster for longer than a few weeks, something has either gone very right or very wrong.

Hopefully, for Taillon’s sake, he doesn’t get sent into the blender with the rest of the roster cuts. The last thing we need right now is Peraza roaming the market again after we already ridded ourselves of that problem.

But who knows? Maybe the Yankees can lie to the Oakland A’s and slip him into a Matt Olson deal, claiming he’s Oswald Peraza?

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