Yankees: 3 worst-case scenario free agent nightmares for NYY

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Andrelton Simmons #9 of the Minnesota Twins (Photo by David Berding/Getty Images) /

2. Andrelton Simmons Wasting a Year of Our Time

I’ve banged this drum before, but a bottom-tier personality fit and a regressing bat? Sign me up for a one-year stopgap until our prospects maybe pan out (they never pan out)!!

Once a defensive wizard whose below-average bat could be tolerated (He was an eighth-place MVP finisher in 2017 with the terrible Angels? Why?), Andrelton Simmons is now so poor at the plate that he posted just 1.4 WAR throughout the entirety of 2021, racking up a 57 OPS+.

57! Surely, that’ll improve over time. That’s, like, half a Tyler Wade. All the Yankees you were infuriated to watch last season could post that by accident. Ramiro Peña looks down on Simmons’ offensive contributions.

And if there’s one thing we know about defense, agility, and lateral quickness, it’s that they definitely improve over time! Surely, we haven’t already seen the best of Simmons. The Yankees will certainly reap the benefits if they push their belief behind Oswald Peraza and Anthony Volpe and choose not to solve their shortstop hole in any way this offseason.

Simmons is the perfect “stopgap” shortstop in that his pathetic bat will stop any ball he hits from reaching the gap. Add in the trouble he caused in 2021 when he was proudly anti-vax, and the has-been infielder is the literal last thing the Bombers need in their dugout. Let him be Kansas City’s irrelevant problem or something. Perhaps an Angels reunion! Who cares, as long as it’s not with us.

Although Simmons replacing Didi Gregorious with the Phillies might be the most hilarious possible outcome … unless it leads to Didi and his 71 OPS+/.270 OBP filling the spot in the Bronx …

You know what, next slide please.