Yankees: A-Rod let David Ortiz get upper hand with bizarre workout roast

Ex-New York Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez was a fairly solid shortstop and third baseman. But based on the way he effortlessly served this lob up to David Ortiz, he might’ve been a decent point guard, too.

Hey, refresh my memory: do point guards usually get dunked on by their own teammates?

Enemies in their playing days (and co-defendants on the 2003 anonymous survey test!), Rodriguez and Papi have gotten a little too buddy-buddy with each other lately for our tastes.

Give Ortiz credit here: he seems to feel the same way.

For reasons still unknown to modern man, A-Rod posted this absolutely ridiculous workout clip to Instagram this week, and tagged Papi. What did he think was going to happen? A series of earnest thoughts about his technique?

Yankees ex-star Alex Rodriguez got destroyed by David Ortiz.

As A-Rod said himself, “What I’m I doin’?” Presumably he meant…”am”. Unfortunately, close only counts in horseshoes and Hall of Fame chances when you’re trying to quote Drake.

Because, in this situation, Rodriguez definitely was “doing him”.

Before we get to Ortiz’s comments, let’s reserve a segment of the article body here for roasting Rodriguez ourselves. Is this a core exercise? Is he…stretching anything, or does he just enjoy being floated in mid-air by a female personal trainer?

Is she…is she gritting her toes directly into the worst possible area for that to be happening?

We’ll let Papi — and his literal entire family — take it from here.

Papi makes a valid point here. Is this lamaze? Was this whole thing planned before the J.Lo thing blew up, in preparation for future child-bearing?

Bottom line, this is the kind of video you learn not to publish when you’re, like, 14. You keep these types of things private.

Unless you’re A-Rod, and you post absolutely every bit of footage ever recorded of your beautiful face and body.

It’s been a tough October. He has to wake up, put on a suit, and sit next to Papi everyday. The Red Sox are still here. Ben Affleck’s living his life. Maybe Rodriguez is a masochist, and wanted to get roasted just to feel something. We get it.

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