Yankees: David Cone’s hilarious take on Monday’s game was all of us

NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 23: Former Yankees pitcher Mariano Rivera, who will be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame this year, gets a hug from Old Timer David Cone during Old Timer's Day festivities before an MLB baseball game between the New York Yankees and Houston Astros on June 23, 2019 at Yankee Stadium in the Bronx borough of New York City. (Photo by Paul Bereswill/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 23: Former Yankees pitcher Mariano Rivera, who will be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame this year, gets a hug from Old Timer David Cone during Old Timer's Day festivities before an MLB baseball game between the New York Yankees and Houston Astros on June 23, 2019 at Yankee Stadium in the Bronx borough of New York City. (Photo by Paul Bereswill/Getty Images)

The New York Yankees and Kansas City Royals technically played a baseball game on Monday night in KC, but anyone who watched the whole thing would likely classify it as some kind of scripted spectacle.

Every lead the Yanks had, they were destined to blow. Four blown saves in consecutive innings will condition a fan to see failure coming, after all, especially considering that’s never happened before.

Right down to the final out, this one was agonizing. With two on and the winning run at the plate in the form of Carlos Santana (after the Yankees had been one strike away from an 8-5 victory seconds earlier), the slugger hit a high chopper to third that almost evaded the glove of Rougned Odor and almost popped out once it was in said glove.

If that ball escapes, every member of the television audience in the New York Metro area likely punches themself in the face, then gets right back to watching the disaster unfold. Broadcaster David Cone was way ahead of you.

A child of Kansas City fandom himself and a former Royals pitcher, Cone didn’t seem at all conflicted about Monday’s game — or maybe he just wanted to get some form of a good night’s sleep. Imagine being paid to absorb these mood swings?

According to his partner in the booth, Ryan Ruocco, Cone almost lost his mind and socked himself in the face, like former Astros closer Ken Giles a few years back.

Yankees announcer David Cone threatened to pull a Ken Giles Monday.

Hey, we get it, Coney! Our only question is…when did you threaten to punch yourself in the face? The balk call? The Aaron Judge play at the plate?

Chad Green’s blown save? Zack Britton’s blown save? Clay Holmes’ blown save? Wandy Peralta’s blown sa–oh, he held it? Nice. Never mind.

So many opportunities to deliver yourself a corneal abrasion, so little time.

Maybe this game went sideways because of the booth, though. Perhaps we needed a closer for Ruocco himself to prevent the lead-blowing from going into overdrive?

We kid, especially because it feels like, by and large, the Yankees end up winning these instant-classic Ruocco games. Remember the Twins-sanity in 2019 that ended with the Aaron Hicks diving catch?

They’re not always beautiful. They don’t always smell like roses. But by God, a Ruocco game always delivers Bachelorette Finale-esque drama.

Sorry, Coney. Might just have to roll with the punches.