Yankees fans greet Jose Altuve with hilarious NSFW chant for birthday

We know what you’re thinking: Yankees fans made Jose Altuve a little too comfortable during his first few days in the Bronx.

Sure, they chanted “F*** Altuve” throughout 18 consecutive innings worth of baseball, using it both when he was at the dish or simply to fill spaces during quiet moments or injury delays, but we can all agree that didn’t get quite personal enough.

Luckily, Thursday was Altuve’s 31st birthday! A time for celebration! A time for appreciate!

A time to adjust the “F***” chant into a birthday-specific savaging.

Is there a better way to spend your birthday than facing Gerrit Cole in the blistering sun with boos reigning down upon you? If there is, we haven’t found it.

Please, enjoy Yankees fans telling Altuve to go shove his special day where the sun don’t shine.

Yankees fans changed up their NSFW Jose Altuve chant for his birthday.

Excellent work, Yankees fans. A real master class.

You’ve done great all series long, but if we could make a recommendation: where’s the hatred for Yuli Gurriel? Just as much a part of this as Altuve, Alex Bregman and Carlos Correa, mixed with bonus anti-Asian racism during the 2017 World Series.

But we digress.

Altuve has become the face of this scandal despite supposedly utilizing fewer “bangs” than some of his other teammates during the 2017 season. Of course, that doesn’t account for pitchers being rattled by being smacked by his teammates, nor does it account for men being on base in prime RBI position thanks to cheating by those fellows.

Add in Altuve swiping the 2017 MVP from Aaron Judge (who received “MVP!” chants this series), as well as the strange shirt-covered ending of the 2019 ALCS, and you’ve got yourself a face of the scandal.

Dusty Baker’s correct here, of course, but we don’t really see a problem with it. There was surely a point in 2017 when Altuve could’ve stopped the scheme in its tracks.

Perhaps he could also have gotten an excuse for his odd “celebration” after his ALCS walk-off straight instead of saying he was shy, he had a bad tattoo and his wife was going to get angry.

Until we know the full details (unseal the Astros letter!), live every day like it’s f*** Altuve’s birthday.

Yankees: Astros complaining to MLB about taunts is as weak as it gets

If the Houston Astros can't handle a little bit of heat from Yankees fans and t...