Steve Cohen is falling apart in the middle of his first offseason with the Mets. Does he…maybe have to go to prison? This is delicious for Yankees fans.
BREAKING NEWS, Yankees fans. You know that Mets owner who talked a big game even though he had already committed financial crimes?
It seems he has now committed some more financial crimes.
The entire world, baseball fan or not, has been locked into the controversial machinations of the stock market this week (no, seriously, I’m not kidding), at the center of which is, of all places, GameStop.
If I told you a few weeks ago that the Mets’ financial savior was going to be taken down not by insensitive tweets nor by the texting scandal that rocked his front office, but instead by the mid-2000s depository for old N64 games that resided in every Westchester and Rockland County strip mall, you wouldn’t have believed me.
But after reddit attempted to take advantage of Cohen and Co.’s shorting of the outdated stock and reaped tremendous financial rewards, resulting in Cohen injecting a nearly $3 billion influx of cash to help cover losses and then the Robinhood app and other sources mysteriously shutting down the trading process, here we are.
And Cohen’s Mets tenure might actually be toast before the Francisco Lindor extension even gets signed? Very much actually funny!
The previous Mets owner lost his fortune in part thanks to Bernie Madoff’s meddling, which cost that team a decade of competing.
And now the new Mets owner, someone Met fans spent an entire offseason slobbering over for his wealth while ignoring the scummy way he accrued it, might have gotten jacked by the only financial scandal in recent years that’s rising to the same level of public prominence? Oh, this I gotta see.
We also don’t even know the half of it yet! Was Cohen involved in the abrupt shutdown of all trading of these stocks on various apps to give Wall Street fat cats a chance to catch up? Who can say?
It certainly wasn’t part of the Mets fans’ grand plan that their beloved Mr. Cohen would’ve finagled them out of money before engaging in an online feud with Dave Portnoy! That wasn’t the stated goal here!
Cohen’s top advocate at Barstool, KFC, knows exactly how far down the rabbit hole one can go when they decide to get into it online with Portnoy.
He also can’t afford to lose Cohen from his life after all the mouth-bleating he’s done this offseason, even prior to any moves of any substance being made.
Even he thinks it might be too late to save the man.
Shame. Just…such a shame.
Don’t blame me.