Red Sox ending their pathetic free agent drought has Yankees fans laughing

Los Angeles Dodgers OF Kiké Hernandez (Photo by Ralph Freso/Getty Images)
Los Angeles Dodgers OF Kiké Hernandez (Photo by Ralph Freso/Getty Images) /

The Red Sox signed a free agent. Wow. Amazing. Yankees fans still think Boston is a joke.

Let’s take a break from Yankees news and rumors for a second, shall we? It’s become a bit exhausting. We deserve a reprieve for a few hours, and what better way to make ourselves feel better than to laugh at the Boston Red Sox? It’s New York’s favorite thing to do!

Red Sox fans can gloat about their recent World Series titles all they want. That doesn’t mean they win any sort of conversation, especially since they’ve become an absolute laughingstock immediately after winning their last two championships. They somehow stood atop Major League Baseball in 2013 with three last-place AL East finishes sandwiched in between. Then, after their 2018 victory, they immediately regressed in 2019 and then tore it all down right before 2020.

Since 1995, the Yankees have missed the playoffs just four times and remain one of the most competitive teams in baseball. The Red Sox, who are in just as big of a market when you consider their payrolls over the last two decades, have missed the playoffs a whopping 13 times since 1995, and that includes four last-place finishes in the division. Plus, they only have nine World Series titles, five of which came before 1919. And they feel the need to ever brag?

Now, in 2021, they’re continually second-place finishers for just about every free agent you could imagine. “We tried! We were right there! So close!” Yeah, nice guise. Any team can “involve” themselves and not really be “in it.” But hey, they finally got the job done! They signed former Los Angeles Dodgers utilityman Enrique Hernandez to a two-year, $14 million deal. Huge!

Before this? Let’s take a look at Boston’s activity on the free agent market over the last two years with new general manager Chaim Bloom, who was brought in from the Tampa Bay Rays to turn things around with a new approach opposite that of the super aggressive Dave Dombrowski.

Make that nine free agents for 10 years and $36.95 million! Absolutely insulting to one of the most loyal fanbases in sports. But also one of the most gullible fanbases in sports? All you hear from Sox fans now is that they’re doing the smart thing by cutting payroll and not wasting money. All of a sudden, they’re totally fine with their billionaire owner lining his pockets with profits and don’t care about the product on the field because they won in 2018 and didn’t think a $365 million extension for the second-best player in baseball was worthwhile.

But wait. You think the Red Sox are done in free agency? You better think again! They’re now moving in on a deal with a pitcher who has appeared in just 45 games since the start of 2016! Come on down, Garrett Richards! That’ll help the awful starting rotation get better, won’t it?

Oh, we can’t forget about the addition of Martin Perez this offseason too. After declining his $6.85 million option for 2021, the Red Sox re-signed the left-hander to a one-year, $4.5 million deal with a $6 million club option for 2022 that carries a $500K buyout. Some financial wizardry, right?! Gotta save that $2 million. Makes all the difference.

And we’re still waiting on that Andrew Benintendi trade. Enjoy your next five years, Boston, as you find ways to laugh at the Yankees because they’ll be paying Gerrit Cole, DJ LeMahieu and Giancarlo Stanton when they’re “older.” Great rebuttal to mask your misery.